blech X 2

i woke up feeling rather gross but this isn't completely rare so I drank some water, went off to work. By my lunch break..I was semi-normal but not wonderful. I ate a little bit then went back to work. I vomited twice (sorry) and then my boss insisted I get home. I really was willing to just stick it out a few more hours as there's a certain relief that comes after vomiting. But, she insisted quite profusely that I not get everyone else sick and just go. Soo..I clocked out, stopped by Quik Trip for a big cup of crushed ice and a bottle of ginger ale. I love crushed ice and hoped the ginger ale would help the tummy just a bit. I'm off to stretch out on the couch and watch some really horrible television. Will you rent a stupid movie and come over? Ugh. Feeling pathetic.

I'm so excited..and I just can't hide it!

I think all 3 readers of my blog have read the news now and I feel like posting more about the subject...if that's ok. Don't care to hear it? Too bad.

Really, I'm trying very very hard not to be much of a girl about all this. I'm tryin' to play it cool, not giggle extensively, contain my shrieks of excitement to private, etc. But, I just want to say it again because it sounds so damn good in my ears.. I'm getting married.. We're getting married!! I'm going to have a husband. Holy shit.
(she's always so eloquent, isn't she?)
Last night he called me his fiance` and it makes everything inside me bubble up and overflow intensely.
We've decided not to have a wedding. I've never wanted one. It's not suitable to either of us...and so we'll probably do something private and then we'll have a reception so our families can come and such. I'm an only child but I don't think my parents will miss out on the debt of a wedding.. Besides..they're wading deep in the muck & mire of divorce.

So, there's my good news.
'jdoublep' left a comment on the other post saying he had some good news himself. You can scamper over here and read the really great story...with pictures!!

* dreamy, wistful, completely smitten sigh *
I'm getting married..

* hint hint *

blurred.. go to mark ryden's site to see his lovely drawings and paintings. This one is a hint at the post to follow..

compelled:

I feel.

Things are right and good. Planets have aligned somewhere. Hearts are in sync. I've never felt this before. It makes me blush. I'm giddy and I daydream at work during the plentiful dull moments. Do I come right out and say it? Do I let you guess? Perhaps I should coerce you into some rigorous commenting....pleading..? That'd be fun, no doubt.. but I'm not sure I can stand it one second longer.
Oh, enough already, Pomegranate Girl.
iaasdfwerpoiuashgmassdI'mgettingmarriedawywooeirua;sdfasdlkfjwer

w o w.

W O W!

good morning, boys and girls...

Today has been one of those mornings I really enjoy. I don't know why I don't give myself mornings like this more often. I woke up freezing after having pushed the snooze button a couple times. I pushed down the window and went immediately to turn the shower on, hot water only. I stumbled off to the kitchen where the cat was doing all but saying in English.."um, my bowl is empty, stupid...fill it, now!" Fed the cat and wandered back to the steamy shower. Regulated the temperature and proceeded to take a long, leisurely shower. The great part is.. after an indulgent, lengthy shower, I emerged with still an hour or so before time to be at work. Ground some beans, made a great pot of coffee and here I am. My personal hints for the day: (these may not suit your taste..but they do mine) If ya like milk or cream in your coffee...warm it in your cup in the microwave for just a bit and then pour the coffee into it. Your cup will be warm....along with the milk/cream and they will embrace your coffee instead of making it cold.

Time to read my daily reads and then finish getting ready for work. The house smells of soap and shampoo after the steamy adventures earlier. Mmm..

By the way.. things continue to progress nicely here. I have some news-type-stuff I'd like to tell but not quite yet. I'm happy, preparing and making plans.

Have a good day. I'm having lunch with my mom because it's only a half day of work today. Yay!!

Overheard by the walls here.

dirty soap!

"Don't you mess, with a little girl's dreams...'cause she's liable to grow up Mean."

He's a hairy little mongrel.

"..anything with bubble gum eyes."

Take me with you when you go.

"Hey, Mom! How was your night?? I was just calling to say happy birthday again!"
"Oh, it was fine. I'm not doing much, just sitting here with 'so&so'"
(random conversation about some music..)
"Your dad came by today to see about the yard. He was good. Isn't it so funny to say now that your dad has a girlfriend?" (her, laughing)
"What?"
"Yeah, it's just funny to say that he has a girlfriend."
"He has a girlfriend? - pause - I gotta go, Mom. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow. Happy Birthday."

What we see here is a textbook, blatant avoidance of a topic supremely uncomfortable. He has a fucking girlfriend? I never wanted this. I didn't want divorced parents, blended families and I'm too damn old for step-parents. Fuck that. The divorce isn't final. My tears taste like salty, liquid metal. The hurt that comes from this is stale yet strong.. stale in the sense that it's old and I'm ready to throw it out. It's their lives...I'm just a part of it that must deal with their decisions. We'll all be ok. Don't leave me some comment to tell me I'll be fine, they'll be fine, one day at a time, etc. I'm not a fucking idiot but right now I'm right smack dab in the middle of it all and dealing with it the best I can. I'm doin' the best I can. It seems that all too often, that's just not good enough.

"It's finally Friday," said Freddy Frog...

I could not possibly be more ready for this weekend. The last couple of days have really slapped me in the face and made me their bitch. I couldn't muster up much to protest with and it's not been a pretty sight. Tonight I will have a guest and perhaps sort some of this mess out. My misery isn't looking for company, just a rope.

Today is my mom's birthday. I called her earlier. She sounded sad. She was headed off to work like any ordinary day. She's also working tomorrow and the next day. The divorce is becoming hard on her financially and she is working herself to death. Tomorrow night I'm going out with her for dinner and such so that should be nice and I hope she can enjoy herself. I wonder if my dad called her to wish her a happy birthday. I really don't know how those things work. I do know they're messy and uglier than anyone wishes them to be. I hate it and can't see the end in sight yet.

silence is a rhythm two.

I'm just taking a moment to 'promote' a site I think is really great. I could read the way this guy talks about music all day long. His descriptions are accurate and make me smile. I can feel them. If I created music... I'd want this guy to describe it. michael. Michael. I think his name is Michael. go look, you'll find treats..
a snippet.

"What a great tune - thick, swirling guitar riffs, a driving beat, and a couple of wickedly cool guitar spazz solos - a bit reminiscent of Ride. Two minutes and forty seconds of melodic bliss"

soothing salve. a balm.

A surprise visitor, laden with comfort and smiles and hugs. Thank you.
Who could ask for anything more? Toyota! (jumping enthusiastically into the air)

And we'll all float on ok.

Now, off with your heads!! and..back to sleep for me.

On why today is awful and I'm a dummy.

I was headed home on my lunch break and got a speeding ticket for going 45 in a 25. Apparently that's the speed limit if a certain yellow light is flashing on this particular sign at that time....and this must've been one of those times. I can't afford this. I can't do this.

My favorite person in the entire world called during my lunch break and I was just sad and spent most of our 60 seconds talking about my stupid ticket and then it was time for him to go. My heart sank and my voice got mad. I needed that person more than anyone else for just a minute. I'm sad and frustrated. I didn't intend to be mean but my words were hateful and my heart was sad. So I hung up abruptly and then sat here staring..feeling like crap. I'm stupid and mad right now. I need hugs. This day more than officially sucks now.

I love this.

here are some lil' pumpkins I saw at the store recently. They happily assured me that Fall is on its way!

Last night..

..during a moment of lacking.. I pleaded to just be whisked away to the Island of Misfit Toys. I think I might be broken....err..just malfunctioning?

Anyway, I wrote a post here this afternoon on my lunch break but it was gobbled up by the blogger bots that dislike me apparently. Things are evolving quite nicely here in Pomegranate Township. I've been having lovely weekends packed with good company, some good food, nice activities, snuggly naps, etc. It's all pretty wonderful. The job is fine, not too amazing, not bad. The main chore of the job is getting dressed up everyday. (I beat this one in the ground, I know) I try to set this task aside for the night before but sometimes a person can get caught up in other things and sometimes two people talk on the phone about everything under the sun and speaking of sun..it starts to rise and it all just feels so good and your brain feels juicy and churns all about in motion and life.. It is good. Please let me continue to soak you up. Stay close, we'll practice osmosis.

Today was rather long but I'm not complaining. My body seems to be dragging so when I walked in the door from work....the first thing I did was make a pot of coffee. The smell of said brew has wafted down the hall to me and it is already soothing my bones. I need to shop for a birthday present for mi madre. Friday is her birthday and I always ache to be creative and practical. I'm at a loss. I don't know what to get for her. I need to put some serious thought into it before I head out into the big, bad world to find it because I abhore shopping.

My library books are late and here are some words I've been loving as of late.
mongrel
smarmy
smidge
yes.
please.

And hey.. Happiness. Today is the last day of summer.

I want to cook something warm and fresh for dinner. What should it be? Wanna come over?

Warm leaves and pumpkins.

In appreciation for my favorite season..which is quickly approaching.. I'd like to share with you 2 of my absolute favorite posts describing this delicious season. We've only a few more days until the Autumn Equinox. Enjoy these, from Smitten. I did.


Rough and Tumble

The Simple

a dreamy sigh. incomplete.

just to be loved on and on and on.

I dream about it daily. I long for it. Is it doomed?

I've so much inside to give and I just want to pour it out. Douse you completely..pour it over your head and watch it trickle down over your eyelids. tiny drops of it will catch in your eyelashes and linger. I'll kiss it from your lips so that it's an endless cycle of giving. It'll seep down into me and manifest again to overflow like this. This is how it should be.. Endlessly. But does endlessly exist? Should it even be a word?

ah. my cup runneth over.

The Battery is dead!

My cell phone died sometime yesterday and I haven't bothered to charge it. This is kinda big 'cause in days past I always had the damn thing...always had it charged.. I was tied to it. Lately, I don't care. I leave it at home, I shut it off and when the power's gone....I just let it be. I let it sit, unjuiced, unused. It feels good. No leash! I never hooked up my answering machine when I moved here and I like that as well. Even when it is hooked up, I'm horrible at returning calls.. so I guess this way, people have a teensy bit less of a reason to get angry 'cause they can't leave a message. Ahh. What a wicked web we weave...if first we practice to deceive. Oh, spinnin' in a house of make believe..

I've really just been working everyday in anticipation of the weekend. I don't have huge plans but the week is just dragging on and on. I'm going to cook dinner this weekend for others. Nice.

In the disappointing segment of today's post.. I've been told that under no circumstances may I have a dog here. I was expecting that a little bit but I was stupid enough to let myself get excited. The trip to the shelter was over the top because I really did just fall for that dog and would've liked very much to adopt him. I'll live. I dig my cat very much.

Remind me to take these books back to the library.

Abrupt end.

Zzz...

I should be sleeping.

Disappointment abounds.

Dreadful.

Everybody's workin' for the weekend.

Well, I am anyway.

I got a tinge uh.. Furious today at work. I didn't show it outwardly much at all but a co-worker said to me after finding out I have my Bachelor's degree.. "Wow!! You totally wasted 4 years in college?? Damn." GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! I already feel like a total louse working at this job. Granted, a) I have a job, b) I don't have to wear a paper hat. ((This is not to say that all those wearing paper hates are lice)) ANYWAY.. It just made me angry. To her, I'm not doing specifically what I majored in in college and thus have wasted my time. I disagree with this wholeheartedly, obviously. Besides, lots and lots and lots do something completely different than their major in college. Hello, people change. I have to say.. In some form or another I use my 'degree' everyday. Fuck those guys. OH yeah, and I think my student loan's due. heh.

Let me be your soul girl.

Steeped in loveliness this morning. Slept in, bathed in music.

When I was little I'd smoke crayons.

Making conscious, deliberate decisions trying to get myself well. Trying not to let the issue of money get me down. Things are looking up but I want to go slow. When I was shorter and less in years, pretending to be grown up and working at a tedious, mundane job was glamourous and wonderful. You could script things out with your play-partner. "And then I come home and you're really excited to see me and I bring home a whole bunch of money from work that day and I am the boss at work really..."

Struggling a little. Even now, a little surreal that after 30 years..my parents are getting a divorce. It devours a little bit of my faith. Consumes it and shits it out again because that's how little it cares about my faith in love and marriage and all that. Really, not that I had much to begin with.

Maybe perhaps a trip to one of the films of the film festival tomorrow. Glennwood Arts?

She's on fire..

Accidentally singed off some of my hair. oops. I was terrified. Flames.

Had a really great dinner all alone. Grilled delectables. Snapped a photo in the supermarket..in the produce section. I'll post it later on. It assured me that Fall is well on its way and that, friends..made my heart warm.

Dark chocolate and some wine, the evening has panned out nicely..
and that, friends...
makes my belly warm.

Workin' the System.

So here's my tip of the day and my current way of cheating the system at work. Tip: Pee on their time. I find this method of cheating works smashingly for me. Once I've been given the word to head to lunch I usually use the restroom first and then generally linger for a bit next to the time clock before it clicks over to the next minute...it is then that I scamper out of the building and fly home to enjoy my lunch break to the fullest.

I definitely like 'the small things' and one small thing that I'd like to note for the day is: It is a wonderful thing to not be able to finish the song 'American Pie' on your way to work or even conclude the song during the drive home for your lunch break. Ahh.. I'm sighing wistfully.

Weekend Update from your favorite Pomegranate.

What a grand weekend (and a grand title!). Laid low for the most part but had great company in doing so. I hate to say but this sickness just refuses to leave my body. Nighttime seems to be the worst..perhaps waking up is the worst. I'm just all stuffy and snotty and coughing and gross.

Spent some time this afternoon drooling with dogs. heh. Went to the local animal shelter. There's a dog there that wants me to love it forever and I know that I could. He was really great and I want him! This insane longing for a dog must be satisfied. 'Alas and 'alack...drat and all that.

Back to work tomorrow. Monday. It will be fine. I'm sadly working later shifts for the rest of the month. Double ick on that one.

Have a few more people I intend to add to the sidebar so if you're feeling neglected..your time may be approaching.

I'm going to bed.

In days past.

This, recounted by Sir Coffee Grounds over at Booknerd is bittersweet. It stirred my memories of the infamous murders and chilled me to think back, once again, on those not-so-sweet days.

Fresh Fruit!

Well, kids.. exciting news here in the box. I've updated things a bit.. spruced up..thrown out the moldy fruit and shined up the rest. Things look pretty much the same only there's more stuff to taste. Make sure you look through the scrollbar on the left.. You'll find some great things to read (perhaps your own over there!) and some things that are fun or important to me. I partially updated to share..and partially so as to enable more laziness on my part. Now I don't have to look around...I can just click on it all directly from my own place. good times.

How's your weekend going?
I think I'll post my idea of a sugar plum. Hmm..

You're my yum, yum Sugarplum.

Stop for a moment and think of any image that the word 'sugarplum' conjures in your brain.


and now...I beseech you.. describe it below, in the comments. please? It will be wonderful. I can't wait!

..and a big, mighty Harumphf!

It's just now that those 2 previous posts have decided to show up. oi vey smere! forgive me for posting lyrics.. ordinary, predictable..I know, but..lovely all the same and very very um.. pertinent? I dunno, they really apply a lot right now.

Are you well?

Mundane Musings.

I worked a teensy bit later than usual today. I came straight home from work and pulled off the 'professional clothes' and checked email. I hate to tell ya, folks but.. having a larger number of bulk crap messages than the day before waiting to be deleted does not make a girl feel loved. Emptied that mess and watched the shitty news. Ended up taking a nap for an hour and a half. I had set my little alarm so I'd not sleep the evening away and still I slept longer than I intended. I feel good now. I buzzed through the house and cleaned up a few things, wrote myself a list for the store, including but not limited to: milk, cereal, lady grey tea, yogurt, lunch stuff? I think I'll head to the store. I really could wait if life demanded it but to get out of the house and breathe some night air, listen to music with the windows down, have something so I didn't piece together lunch tomorrow..all sounds nice to me right now. My list is very exciting, I know. What's on your list?

That I would be good.

That I would be good even if I did nothing.

That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down.

That I would be good if I got and stayed sick.

That I would be good even if I gained 10 pounds.

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt.

That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth.

That I would be great if I was no longer Queen.

That I would be grand if I was not all knowing.

That I would be loved even when I numb myself.

That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed.

That I would be loved even when I was fuming.

That I would be good even if I was clingy.

That I would be good even if I lost sanity.

That I would be good.

Whether with or without you.

alanis morissette.

downtrodden.

feeling sad and confused.

it seems i've pissed off lots of people around me when i didn't mean to.

i'm sorry?

I don't give a fuck about CIA.

Indulgent pleasures tonight.. Butthole Surfers, Flogging Molly, My Morning Jacket and even Don McLean. Throat has been shredded inside by something completely awful. It hurts much and I try drowning it in swallows of the hottest tea. A hot bath, a hot toddy. haha. That's silly, isn't it? God, how I love weekends off like this. May it never end!! No, I s'pose I have to work in order to better understand the concept of a weekend, days off and time spent doing fun things. Barbeque yesterday. Made good food to eat..food to fill my belly. Fresh yummies. Who knew I had a gas grill directly connected to my house? Weird. Convenient, even too convenient maybe just maybe. Nice. Chocolate M&M's, I spilled some on the floor on accident.

Feelin' just a little ick 'cause I'm makin' people mad.. Not around when I'm "supposed" to be. Horrible at returning calls and emails and everything else. It's not intentional. Ok, it's pretty intentional. reclusive some. Sometimes reclusive a lot.

Went to the pet store today. Since when do no pet stores carry dogs ever? It's only lately that I've 'frequented' pet stores. Man. My want for a dog is pretty damn bad. I remember going into petstores and seeing lots of puppies and cats and you could hold them if you asked nicely. Now, no dogs..most don't even have cats. shit. This is crappy. Mind you, I'd never actually buy a dog from a petstore but I'm sad because I was looking into adopting a dog from a pet shelter and it's like adopting a child.. You must apply and answer a multitude of questions and then they schedule an in-home visit. If you're 'approved' ..you will begin a 2 week trial period with the pet. During that time you are in contact with the shelter always. Good lord. I fear rejection. I have had several dogs in the past..throughout my entire life. I have a cat now that is happy and very well adjusted.. He seems to approve of me (most of the time). I'm a responsible pet owner but maybe I won't measure up to the shelter standards. All in all, I guess I'm glad such a process exists because I like animals a lot and it'd make me sad if shelters were just passing out dogs to any ol' schmuck that wasn't sure how to properly feed/groom/exercise himself. I guess I'm just annoyed by the seeming hassle. The hassle is good, sure. It makes us think twice. Is this what we really want? Can we really handle it? I think I qualify. I want to qualify! This is where I stomp my feet in protest. Maybe it's best this way.. Sad! The whole deal is.. I'm not sure they'll let me have a dog here. Otherwise, I'd have probably already taken the plunge, the Nestea plunge. heh. I used to always marvel at those people that would let themselves just fall backwards into the pool in traditional Nestea Plunge fashion.

How's yer whole.. family?

Haha.

Shadow puppets on the floor, princess in a blue blanket, little mew mew, Blue Mountain Jamaican Coffee, Hot tea with dribbles of honey, No Dylan & Willie for me, cancelled plans for the Irish Fest, though an adventure is on the horizon. Santa-cali-gon, ewww. Spare me your crafts booths and overpriced kettle corn. Rickety Carnival rides. Memories of a freak show. Snake woman. I was on the cover of the Independence Examiner at 3 years old at Santa-Cali-Gon, riding a horse. I was super beyond cute and they couldn't have chosen a better subject for the cover. Stories of Reagan accompany. Soviets.

- Lunch Break -

Hi! I'm home..on my lunch break..which I just cannot get over. It's so NICE. Mm..You're nice. I'm having a big bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch for lunch. I'm not a dietician but I am grossed out a little by my co-workers' lunch habits. Fast food everyday. a) it's bad for you. BAD. b) it's expensive. c'mon. Don't get me wrong, I like a cheeseburger, but man! Today has been a good day..very busy at work so the day has been slipping by at a pretty good pace. I'm so damn excited about this 3-day weekend business. I've never really had a job that observed holidays and weekends. ha. I'm happy to be able to look forward to it like others. If you have to work this weekend that's ick and I'm sorry..but I have true empathy, believe me.

I think there will be some barbeque action this weekend. I seem to talk only about my job on here. It's just really helping my state of mind and I'm thankful for that. You should be as well.

Why do people not leave comments? I like it and try to respond so c'mon, hook a girl up. I need all the love I can get. (or free food) heh.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

Going to work. Friday. MMm..

I wonder if my professional dresscode at work allows spikey, crazy pigtails?

Septiembre

I hate to sound like everyone else but I really can't believe it's September! Wow. Where exactly did August go? Hmm..September.. It makes me daydream lovely things about Fall and there are 3 more months until my birthday. Yay!

I feel grateful today. I have a job that isn't stressing me..working some normal hours..developing a routine.. There's something so very comforting to me about a bit of the mundane. I like getting up early, making coffee, all that stuff.. I like coming home, reading, writing, dinner, friends.. I like knowing when I work everyday. I like actually being around for the weekend! My god, this is such a switch for me! I feel lighter. It's easier to smile. I have things/people to look forward to. I'll turn a couple tricks now and then to help pay the bills and we'll all be ok.

And you.. Yes, You. I'm so grateful for you. You make my heart smile.

(oh, don't you love cryptic!!) ha.