Happy Halloween.

S U C C E S S

Hello 3:30 am.. How are you? We haven't hung out in a little while 'cause 6 am has been stealing away all my time from you. Thank you for helping me to finish all the invitations, 3:30 am. It is generous of you and really I can't thank you enough.

Your pal,
pom.


Hi!! The invitations are all done and I even drove up to drop them in the mailbox. Yippee!! It was a tad bit tricky at first but he got it worked out and with some happy butterfly and rainbow teamwork we are all finished!! He's been sleeping for awhile now but I'm here. I wish Friday was already over. I keep forgetting Halloween is this weekend. I'll celebrate by eating candy or something. I guess I'm just not hip enough for the costume parties and such. heh. Wish I had something really snappy to say (not that I ever really do) but I don't. I don't think I can sleep yet so I'll wander around your sites for awhile longer and then call it a night.

See ya soon, 6 am!!

PS 6 am? be gentle.

Livin' Juicy.

Yeah, so Tony was right and I guess inside somewhere I knew that, ya'know? It's not like I thought I'd keel over and die an early death without a nice reception but at that moment the surface was pretty bruised and tender so that's what you got. We found a place and decided if need be we could simply pay for it all ourselves. I talked to Mom a lot about it and have just decided to not even talk to my dad about it. I never asked him to pay for anything and I'm tired of hearing how poor he is. I'm not choosing sides, nor will I.. but in all honesty, I think perhaps my dad delivers that idea to me in hopes that I'll pass it on to Mom because he keeps telling me she's robbing him blind. Again, I can't imagine how hurtful this whole process is but Dad has thrown money in my mom's face her whole life...so anyway, blech. I'm done with that topic.

The place we got is great and also a bit northwest of the city. Actually, when growing up I've seen the place a lot and always pointed out what a neat place it is. It's an all stone building, historic..very cool. The price is also pretty much the cheapest we found. My mom talked her way into it. heh. So, I'm very excited and I don't mean to be defensive but really, this is the only place I vented. He heard my opinion too but it's not as if I threw a temper tantrum until I got my way. That's not at all how things transpired. Because I've been waiting all this time to figure out whether or not we were even going to have a reception and where....I don't have the invitations done. Tonight, that is my mission! I realize this isn't the "way things are done" but it'll have to do. Most all our family has known that we were planning on having a reception but they're only going to get about 2 weeks' notice. Oh well. If they can't come, they can't come. I would've loved to have had the invitations about a month ahead of time or so but that didn't happen and life goes on. So, the invitations serve as an announcement that we're married and also ask people to come hang out. (in not those exact words!)

Moving forward. We've narrowed the rabbit names some.. (Thank you for zero ideas, ya jerks!)
It's come down to Bebop, Twinkles and the one I suggested that merely makes me laugh is Mr. Tickles. ha. I have to admit that I'm strongly leaning towards Bebop but we'll see if it sticks. Mr. Tickles kind of sounds like the neighborhood bunny molester so perhaps we should avoid that one, eh? Registered Sex Offender Mr. Tickles.

husband and bunny.. perhaps a better shot. I promise not to go overboard here. After my rant a bit earlier a dose of cuteness was needed for all parties involved.

I tried to include some sort of appendage so you could see how little he is.. There he is..in my hand. He still needs a name.

This ain't Pretty.

Because I would rather not heap this onto my husband's shoulders...I've decided to haul it out in overloaded wheelbarrow loads here on my little blog.

I'm a little bit hurt.

Except when perhaps I was a wee little lass...I can't remember ever really dreaming of a big, white wedding with the gown, the veil, the parade of bridesmaids, the tears, the glorious music, the enormous debt, etc.. It was not merely for sake of money that I chose to forego that. I felt that he and I could just jam pack as much or way more sentiment into a really nice, calm, peaceful and beautiful thing all our own and that, friends...is what it was. My heart could've burst that day. It was perfect and totally 'us.' We had a few spectators to share in the moment but small and personal. Now.. under all this blissful reminiscing and whistful sighs, I'm fucking pissed..k? It'll be fine and there's nothing you can do. I don't really expect advice I'm just unloading it all here so perhaps I can look back through later or tomorrow or whenever and understand what it is exactly that I'm feeling. I could scream and throw things or pull out hair and hit something. I'm mad. My feelings are hurt and I feel really damn unimportant. On the very unromantic side of this wedding/marriage bit, I saved my parents a ton of money. Is that how it happens? There's a really good chance that I just don't know.......but don't the bride's parents usually foot the bill for the wedding? It's what I wanted but also, I was being practical. I like to be that way sometimes. I saved lotsa money. Because there was no grand explosion of a wedding (again, we had what we wanted) ...I just really really wanted to have a nice reception. A reception with white lights that twinkle. A reception with mingling and laughing and music playing in that background that makes people pause and say, "Damn, this is a really great song" or "Wow, I haven't heard this one forever!" I wanted a traditional wedding cake. Three tiers? hell yeah! A bride and groom sitting atop it? Nah. I also wanted some pretty, earthy Fall colors that exuded warmth and invited everyone in to just relax and absorb one another.

Mixed into all my dreamy little plans....lingering.. is the mess that my parents are trudging through. Both of them like to tell me often about how much the other is robbing them blind and how little money they have to even survive on. That's fine....they both have jobs, Dad has a good job, Mom is ok.. I thought maybe they would help me out a little. I thought maybe they'd help me pay for a reception hall...for the cake? I purchased decorations and really don't need much more. I just wanted a little fucking help! I had no idea I would instead hear guilt trip after guilt trip and be constantly reminded about how strapped for cash they are. I'm really sorry if my marriage didn't come perfectly timed for their fucked up lives. Every idea I have is shot down because it's too expensive and it seems my ideas are about as cheap as they come. I'm angry now and I guess perhaps I'm just being a selfish little brat. It doesn't feel that way, though. I felt like I was being very minimal in my wedding dreams. The wedding itself was very private and I just wanted an occasion to celebrate it with our family and friends that weren't there that day. I bought all the invitations and the decorations. What now? Maybe I do want a little help. It's ok to tell me I'm a selfish asshole brat. I think perhaps the thing to do is put the idea out of my head. I think there will probably be no reception at all. God forbid my parents help their only fucking kid some with her damn wedding reception. Really. Fuck it. It wasn't important.

Just another rainy Tuesday.

When I originally titled this post I wrote "Just another rainy Thursday" and then sadly realized I was very, very wrong. This ICK of a weather forecast makes me sad. I want sunshine and warm leaves with a light breeze to drift 'em to the ground. I don't want cold, constant dampness. Got that, Mama N? Harumphf!!

Joe said he likes the pictures my camera takes. I hate them. They're shabby as hell. I do have some more, though.

Disclaimer: This was not a replacement...however, we did make a somewhat impulsive purchase last night. I'm incredibly dorky as most are already aware and yesterday was just a really crappy day at work. For the last 2 or 3 hours of work I daydreamed on the side about going to the Pet Store after work. Work finally ended (which at some point I feared may never happen) and after going home we went to the Pet Store. Yay!! I looked at the puppies and kept pointing to show him and in the end.. we left with a little cardboard box..containing our newly purchased family member. He's cute as hell and still lacking a name. He is.. a rabbit. He's gray with a white spot on his head and his front left leg is white. I snapped a couple photos as he hopped around the house last night. What shall we name him? Any suggestions. We have a few ideas already. He's very small and super snuggly. He does funny tricks sometimes when he's bouncing around. He loves us.

ahhh..Rain, rain go away. Come again some other day.

A pink, wooden cradle heavy-laden with a bundle of dolls we saw at a Flea Market on Saturday.

Because a girl can't live on Kudos alone.

People.. You are still eating Kudos, right??

Saturday we celebrated our 1 week anniversary. Ha. Shuddap and be happy for us!! Small steps, ya'know?

Sunday afternoon was annoying because the computer was being crappy and each time I called for help I was, of course, routed to India. I loves me some Indian people but please, when the whole point is that the person be able to understand my problem and help me understand....it helps to speak the same language. I was frazzled beyond belief and went to take a long shower to calm my grumpy self and when I'd returned my dear husband had nearly discovered the solution and a few moments together got it all sorted out. Yippee! A sad point on Sunday was when our hamster, Dr. H., kicked the bucket. We debated on whether to give him a proper burial in the Kudos box in the backyard but instead opted for a Ziplock bag in the rubbage bin. (I wanted to say 'rubbage bin') My husband brilliantly labeled the contents of said Ziplock bag as "The Terrible Dr. H 10-24-04." He will be missed. He was a cute, tiny, little dwarf hamster that liked to bite lots.

And, like I said, because a girl can't live on Kudos alone...we had a great dinner out last night at Outback. I ate too much yummy food. At home we finished some cleaning (exciting!!) and tried to crash early. I have some random pictures I swear to post later today, after work. How was your weekend?

So, how 'bout this crazy ass weather, eh?

I'm sure I'm not the first to spew some sorta crap about the weather today. It seemed the generic topic of conversation at work today....but seriously.. What's happening outside? It's warmer than it's been in weeks....it's super damn humid, windy and just plain weird. We've pushed all the windows open and the breeze is nice but I can live without our blanket feeling completely DAMP from the humidity in the air. blech.

When we came home there was a groundhog in the backyard. He was big and awkward and lumbered about in a funny way.. Shortly after my husband scared him off the backyard became consumed with birds. Tons and tons and tons of blackbirds came chirping in. They were filling all the trees within every local yard but seemed to want to meet up on the ground in our yard. It was kinda neat and I snapped a photo of them before they scattered up into the air again. We're going to 'nosh' and fill our bellies....rent a movie and act like the nerds that we are. A night in sounds delightful. We'll lay low tonight and play more tomorrow. What're you doin' tonight?

Day 4

(This post attempts to piece together shards of last night's deleted post) but before that...

I awoke this morning slowly with this guy. He showed up sometime last week and seems to have taken up residence in my home, by my side.. It's our home now and he's a good wake-up partner. Somehow he wakes up every morning being funny. Sure, he's as non-morning as me, perhaps moreso but somehow, magically.. He's smiling, he's saying clever things and rousing sleepy laughs from me.. It's a welcome event.

When I wrote yesterday I just proclaimed how much I'm diggin' marriage. It seems whenever someone asks how things are going and I beam they must do their best to cut that down.. Like, Oh yeah? HA!! Just wait!! Once again, I've never claimed that marriage is easy, that ours will be, blah blah blah. Misery loves company? I dunno. We're doing well. I'll try not to harp on that or whatever. I can't quite explain how good things feel other than to say that it's just plain n i c e. Perhaps that seems an inadequate word but I needed a simple one because the happiness I'm feeling is possibly the most simplistic of all happies. I am loved...completely. I love, completely. It's disgusting and blessed. Thank you for enduring.. I'm really truly not a syrupy sap.

In last night's post I also wrote about Flogging Molly. It was such a great show. In the beginning I was, admittedly, a bit err stiff (?). It took just a bit to loosen up and go with it. By the time Flogging Molly took stage I was so ready. We were in front. There was the guard rail, a couple girls, then us. If I wanted to jump up and down and grin...I did. If I wanted to scream along, I did. If I needed to wave my arms or close my eyes...I did. Unfortunately maybe..we were next to the Mosh Pit. I'll call us innocent bystanders because we really had no intention of moshing....the pit just seemed to keep expanding in this huge circle. We were next to perhaps the fattest guy there. God love 'm. He was wearing a black t-shirt that said in bold, white letters.. "I'm fat. Fuck off." He was crushing us. We kept getting nearly knocked down and slammed into the wall or the front rail. That's the way it goes. It was all in fun and I promise I wasn't some grumpy old woman at the concert. The Briggs were on first and.. meh. Street Dogs were better, much better...but neither compared to Flogging Molly. They're so classy but also just damn fucking cool. They came out in all black suits looking stoic and ready. I loved it. We loved it. When it was finally over and we walked out back to the parking garage, neither of us really said much and I think we were just trying to continue soaking it all in.

It's Thursday (in case you didn't know) and I wanted so much to go back to bed this morning after he left for work but I stayed up and have done some reading, music listening and will shower soon for work. I've updated the links on the left and one of them isn't showing up.. I'm sure I've glitched something but for a good time, good tunes, check out Imprudent Marriage. I've been wallowing about in some of the songs offered up there..Elliott Smith (love him, sad he's gone), Shannon Wright, Ryan Adams and more. On that page are 2 more Audio Blogs scenestars and audiogasms. I'll link those when it's not morning. Have a wonderful day. When are you coming by for dinner? We'll have yummydelicious things. Hope you're well....I think of you often.

ahahahahaahah!! I kill myself!!

alf. remember Alf?

Ok, so... click my new profile picture because if it does nothing else.. It amuses the fuck outta me. haahaha. It's festive, right? It actually looks like a huge jack-in-the-beanstalk giant ate a buncha pumpkin pie and then pooped it out. We have 2 pumpkins on our front porch. Neither of them measure up to this orange monster.

eww.

damn damn damn damn damn!

i wrote a post.. i went to publish it and *SLAP* - - scheduled maintenance! argh. how was i to know? harumphf. my post was instantly deleted and now my brain is too tuckered out to try again. shit. 1 show per day, folks.

a Good morning

Pretty surreal. I can hardly believe we're married. Here's a little synopsis of the weekend...just in case you're interested.

On Saturday morning I headed to work early and was there until a bit after noon. I came home and found myself sort of wasting time. Mom arrived and continuously prodded me along to "Get ready!" She seemed surprised at having to keep me headed forward on the day of my wedding. I kept finding random things to show & tell. There was no white gown but we were both dressed up..me with pigtails and flowers in my hair.. I had a really pretty, simple..Fall bouquet with one ribbon. Around 2 we headed to Liberty..to the Park we had our first date at. He and I wandered off to find a spot while my divorcing parents attempted to make civil small talk. By 2:40 we had settled on a spot and were chatting with the minister who'd arrived to marry us. Our parents all snapped photos while we just sorta milled around smiling at one another and giggling at the fact that in a short while we'd be married. By 3 we were standing between 2 trees in the sunshine and facing one another holding hands. We said our vows, placed our rings... Our moms shed tears and then we kissed to seal the deal. Afterwards, hugs all around, lots more pictures and a nice dinner..All of us together minus my dad. He rode off on his Harley just a few minutes after our tiny ceremony. Mom said it was the most untraditional wedding she'd ever been to and it was definitely her favorite. It was my favorite too.

After dinner we made our way to the lovely Albonee` Country Inn we were to spend the night in. It was fun and relaxed. It was there that I first signed my new name. Breakfast Sunday morning was delicious. We checked out at 11 am and came home where much lazing about ensued. A few phone calls, an afternoon nap, eyeing our new air hockey table (we haven't put it together yet) and a couple errands. That evening we watched TV and cleaned house on the commercials. We're so damn happy.. (and I'm so damn eloquent!) People are thrilled to make lots of those miserable marriage jokes. They're plentiful, I know. But c'mon, we're perhaps as cynical as they come and we're glowing. We're not oblivious to the fact that this marriage thing is tons of hard work. Sure, we've never done it before and don't know everything about it.. but if we're going into it thrilled and willing to take it slow and steady...working through what comes our way.. I say we'll be just fine.

Now..it's Monday. He left for work awhile ago. I'm sad he has to commute.
Married life is grand. I'm allowed to say that 48 hours into it. One day at a time, right?

* October 16, 2004 *

Well... here we are.. as of 3 pm today we are a Mr. and a Mrs. It was lovely.. We took lotsa pictures. Everyone seemed full of smiles. We're off to a little Bed & Breakfast now.. happiness abounds. More later..and pictures!!

Holy Crap Monkey

I'm feeling a teensy bit discouraged at present so stay with me here.. I need to vent a little. Maybe. I also needed to take a moment to update myself on what's currently taking place in my life. I'm feeling out of it today. It may be that we were out a bit late at Flogging Molly having assloads of fun. (more on that later when I'm in a better state of mind. I want to attempt to do them some justice and not just tell you vaguely that it was assloads of fun) Anyway, upon returning home... other things.. (*wink wink nudge nudge*) seemed more fun than sleeping and we both had to rise early for work. ahh well. When we did...we slept soundly. I like him. I like slumber parties.

Today was/is my half day at work. I finished about 30 minutes late and came home to promptly start making some of those "business hours only" phone calls that are hard to make when I'm part of the business day thing at work, ya'know? Anyway, the reception place is booked solid up until December sometime (rats) and now I'm seeking an alternative. I'm annoyed because I've been calling them for 2 weeks with none of my phone calls ever returned. I don't wanna shell out lotsa cash for the location either. Any ideas? It needs to be kind of central for our families as well. Mine lives north... His, south. Dad recommended the VFW Hall but that seems trashy and lame to me. Maybe I'm being too damn picky? I just imagine dark wood paneling, old carpet, stale smoke and must smells deeply embedded. Blech. Help!!

Like buyin' plane tickets...

We're really takin' this trip and today we'll make our way to the Jackson County Courthouse and purchase our Marriage License!! After that we're headed to the Beaumont Club for Flogging Molly. I guess we can have a little memory of gettin' the marriage license then seeing a kickass band. If you see us there we're the disgusting ones that seem (and are) completely smitten with one another.

Not exactly straight and what was your point?

In case you were wondering, Yes, I do encourage you to spend a solid half hour in a steaming hot bath mid-morning on a dreary, cool, rainy Fall Monday. Oh, and yes, I do prefer mine with a huge dollop of Bedtime Baby Bath because it smells good and is soothing indeed. It says right there on the bottle.. "Calms fussy babies" and it's true. This baby's calm. I dropped a couple of extra drops of lavender oil under the tap as it rushed into the tub. Dresden Dolls serenaded me during the bath and still now. I sat up with a smattering of bubbles and slurped hot, black coffee if you please. It threatened to scald as it slipped down my throat and warmed my belly. One really should make the conscious decision to do-as-you-please-as-often-as-possible because it's soothing. It's Monday morning. People hate Mondays. I'm off today 'cause bank holidays rule and Happy Columbus day by the way ay ay. I'm stretchin' out and lovin' it. Better with another to share it with but work invades and solitude is pretty. Today I'll be productive but slowly.. Lunch with Dad, late birthday celebration as he was too busy for me to help him "celebrate." Mom asked what if, what if...what if he brings his girlfriend to the wedding reception? How will that make you feel? Are you ok with that? No. No. I'm not ok with it. The divorce isn't final, no. Am I an asshole? If yes, I'm ok with it..but no, they're not divorced and I don't want awkward family times as we all gaze on the new woman for the very first time ever at my reception? No thank you very much. Hell, I'm not even allowed to know her last name or where she lives. Classy, Dad. A resounding "I hate this" to that but I won't cry today no, sir. Words that flow with rhythm and stroke your little brain lovingly. Please may I nuzzle inside you just forever only? I'll kiss you two times if you allow. Last night a trek to Olathe to share this commuting burden. Separate activities somehow kept us so close. Listening to new music and me playing video games. Oh, it's new, I don't know how and I fumble about but it amuses me and thank the lord for anything that does that, right? Quick, find something to busy her with. You sat next to me sometimes and one time helpedmecheatdon't tell! So, here's to rebelling on a Monday morning. Giggle at the others grumpy in traffic and move like a snail. Sprint if you'd like but only only if it thrills you. If it doesn't thrill you, really thrill you deep down in your muscles inside the core of your bones, fuck it...don't do it, say nothankyouverymuch. Smile when you feel like it or never at all and if you wanna wear those dorky ass glasses and peek out at strangers it's allowed.

Dream Inspired by a Bee Flying Around a Pomegranate a Second Before Waking Up - Dali -

Who knew?

Stroke the ego...or whatever.

Didya know? I'm Biblical! Print it out. You'll rule.

Sundays have developed a stench.

I sorta kinda dread Sundays as of late 'cause they bring the inevitable.. Fiance` Happiness makes the trek back to Olathe and I am left here to trudge through the work week alone while he does the same off in the land of O. The weekend brought lovely things like, a wedding gift registry at Target which....makes me laugh. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing. The things we registered for include (but are not limited to) a tent, a nice coffeemaker, towels, picture frames and.. * drum roll * ....extended.... an air hockey table!! Oh man. Yes!! We're so not gonna get that but hey, it was fun to shoot the gun at it and dream of fun-filled days beating him at air hockey. (if you're not a stalker and are curious...our registry is online. hehe. shameless!!!) We had lunch with Mom today and I have the leftover hot rolls to prove it. We made some planning headway and in case you wanted to know.. We're getting married next Saturday, late in the afternoon in the park we had our first date at. (And you thought we weren't romantic!!) Contacted the minister, the cake baker and reception room haver. Woo. Crazy crazy. My extended family spoke with me some about our non-traditional plans and my need for a wedding dress, to "go in the right order," etc. These people are the same people parenting cousins of mine, none of which were married before having children (ok, that's important to me. sue me.) many of whom have spent lotsa wasted time livin' off the system doin' drugs....havin' babies with multiple guys or who the hell knows who the daddy is. The cousin a few months younger than me just now found out (?) she's 5 months pregnant with her 3rd child (3rd dad, not sure whose baby this one is) and they're concerned whether or not we get married before the day of the wedding shower? Fuck me! I'm thrilled with our plans. He's thrilled with our plans. So, what's the problem? No problems. We'll do this how we want and it'll be grand. Laidback fun times to come, kids. Swear this is gonna be a kickass time. Lovin' every minute of it. Damn work to hell.

Other things included in this weekend:
3 movies - Supersize Me, Coffee & Cigarettes and Farenheit 9/11
Wasabi peas
Icky chicken piccata
Boulevard Dry Stout
Djarum Specials
Peppermint patties
Lots of new music!! dresden dolls are delicious. I'll eat them with a tiny spoon.


Flogging Molly Tuesday. yesyesyes.

Double-duty October 8, 2004.

I've been up quite awhile now and again, I love these mornings with time stretchin' out all over the place. I've been drinkin' coffee and literally.."rockin' out" for awhile now. I was actually in the middle of a fun little "rock out" session in the kitchen...house dark, fridge light open as I grabbed the milk, trash men out front. You think they noticed I was "rockin' out" pants/panty-less? heh.

The Eels are truly a great way to start the day. The song I just listened to made me feel sassy. It's Friday and the days have been draggin' so I need something to make me feel like I can take on the world... in all it's slow-as-molasses-in-winter-ass-draggin'-glory. And hey, speakin' of sassy, I found some fun little version of "These boots." It was over at silence is a rhythm two. It's super fun. Anything that can make you snap your fingers at 7 am is fun!

Some 'splainin...

If you're planning to be married to me anytime in the near future....some of this may sound redundant to you but I'd like to share some of what I'm thinking with both myself and you. At the moment there's a lot running through this head and I want to capture it for a later reading. Stream of consciousness. Here goes...

Solid and good. It's a sigh. It's this happy, content sigh. Things feel right and good. We're disgustingly glowing. I'm completely smitten and beyond. I have been for a long time but that's a story for perhaps another time. It makes me proud that he's the one I'm marrying. Brilliant and beautiful. He shines.

I get butterflies. We've been around one another for awhile now and I get butterflies. Oh sure, cliche` as hell. Call me silly and giddy but even now I blush and grin when he's around. When he's not around I can't wait for the moment when he is. He lives 40 minutes away and it feels like we're in a long-distance relationship.

Today was perhaps the first day that I told a lot of people. It all seems surreall. We plan to be married by the end of this month and maybe you didn't want to stop by this site and see yet another post about wedded bliss but get over it. I'm a girl and I'm allowed to be fucking bursting at the seams with excitement right now! I can't wait to continue exploring and have adventures. I want to live juicy, soaking up everything around me..around us. I had no idea I'd end up with such a prince. I feel energized. He fills up the well that others sometime greedily empty. He allows me to drink from him. He's nourishment. I could write things about him all night. I feel like our relationship as of late....even before our engagement.. has been growing and growing. It gets prettier, more detailed, healthier and stronger. I'm blessed. We're blessed. I'm so damn thankful. I'm officially spinning in this whirlwind and I love it.

Reason # 784 to marry this man:

He has an extensive, really wonderful CD collection. Yeah!

More tidbits.

My throat is raw from lying on the floor kicking and screaming "You fucking bitch!" as my best friend tickled my feet mercilessly. It came out of nowhere. I was completely caught off guard.

I'm in a funk. Today was horribly long and there's some irritating pettiness taking place at work. I stay put in my corner and nod and smile to our customers. Pink tank top under this lime green zip-up sweater thing today. My nametag was hardly visible and I happily wore mismatched socks that were happily visible. I'm sure the older ladies clucked at the poor, disheveled girl looking quite the hodge podge on the outside but somehow just gleaming from somewhere inside.

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. He informed me a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned it that he was no longer celebrating birthdays. I asked if October 7th had been removed from the calendar to which he replied yes and I wondered if the bank was aware of this.

Speaking of banks, off Monday..hiphiphooray! Lovely weekend for a wedding, says me.... but 'alas, mother-in-law-to-be will be out of town and so we'll wait at least 1 more week. I hope we can wait that long. heh. Happy impatience. I lucked out on mother-in-laws. Sweet and wonderful and loving indeed. I'll keep her.. and him.. Should sleep...farewell..g'nite.

Oh, just some little tidbits.

The rings are just fucking awesome. I love mine and his is simple and nice. We're going to Flogging Molly on the 12th, YAY!! I'm so excited. I told kj maybe we could just get married before the concert? ha. Plans are progressing.. short little post, more later.

She reeks of desperation.

A'ight, so.. it's true.. I'm desperate!! I figure this can't possibly hurt anything and so I'll just go ahead and throw it out there...

Anybody looking for an apartment in Olathe? Very reasonable rent...1 bedroom apartment, no pets. If not, do you know anybody looking for an apartment in Olathe? If not that either.. would you find somebody looking for an apartment in Olathe?

Maybe just maybe we could sublease until April?

HELP.
Truly, I need someone to help us. I've actually never been tied into a lease like that. This is his second year on the lease and it ends in April. What should we do? Wait 'til April? ew. scratch that idea. What else? I think I've just about come to terms with the idea of quitting my job and finding a new one so I can relocate to be with my husband-to-be....but how? It's not an option for me to move into his place. It's much too small for the both of us...we both agree on this. The lease, the damn lease...that's our dilemma. Leases be damned!!

Help. Suggestions? We're very open-minded...but not to the idea of waiting until April.

Tuesday we'll pick up our rings. They're beautiful. I'm particularly fond of mine. I've never owned jewelry. Don't get me wrong, I have a few twisted wire rings and my ears are full of earrings but I'm more of a dork.. beads and silver. Never have I worn a diamond in my life. Ever.

I was a bit worried about my parents' reactions but they're both really excited. Last night Dad came over and the 3 of us went out to dinner. We talked about a lot of things. I had not yet gotten the balls to ask if he was seeing someone but last night after we informed him of our impending marriage he told us he'd been seeing someone. I tried my hardest to be stoic and take it all in stride but I cannot even tell you of the lump that formed. Things deep inside me sank as low as they could possibly sink and it was truly hard to breathe. Their divorce will be final in 6 weeks or so. Dad has been living with another woman for about a month now. A million zillion questions swirl in my head. How long did he know her/see her before he moved in with her? Is she beautiful? Does he tell her he loves her? Does he plan on marrying again? Is he fucking her? My god, he lives with her....and, coincidentally.... about 5 minutes from my home. I had no idea. He told me yesterday he drives by my work everyday. Ok, again... living with another woman....just down the street pretty much. It's insane and admittedly.. I hate it. There's a selfless part of me that is really glad my dad is happy.. but the selfish daughter part really hates it.. Immensely.

The whole ordeal is pretty crazy. I'll try to explain without being too long-winded. See, when my mom told Dad she wanted a divorce.. He moved in with a friend of ours. We've known he and his wife a long time...gone to church with them...my dad rides Harley's with him, whatever. So, several months ago.. In early spring.. His wife died of brain cancer. She was only in her early 50's. My dad went to stay there..2 'bachelors.' My dad works nights and Mom began hanging out with this friend of their's that my dad is staying with.....very frequently. This created a strange little triangle. Mom's never felt a man be nice or gentle with her. She's never just felt loved and happy. My parents married when they were 18 and both had the intention of getting out of their respective abusive homes. Anyway, a bit of time has passed and ANOTHER friend of theirs has moved into this man's house because he left his wife. I began referring to it as the "Halfway House." Dad stopped staying there (I had no idea) because he was living with this woman. Mom's fondness for this man Dad was staying with.... a mutual friend.. has only grown in leaps and bounds. After things my dad told me last night.... I fear my mom is really completely clueless. The man she's so fond of?? He's got a 'girlfriend' my mom has no idea about. It's a twisted, jumbled mess and I have a feeling once my mom wakes up..she's just going to be so crushed. Blech. It turns my stomach.

Dad told me that as things progress with he and this woman...he'll introduce us and the 4 of us can hang out together. He knows I'll get along with her really great. Um...NO. I don't think so, Dad. He didn't want to tell me at all because he doesn't want my mom to know. I had told them both....If there's information I'm not supposed to pass along to the other, just leave me in the dark as well because I don't want to have to try and keep straight what I can and cannot tell the other. I wanted to know about this, though. Mom knows he's seeing someone but I don't think she knows he's living with her. She can't be THAT naive.. Perhaps she just doesn't want to let herself be aware of it. Dad said he was glad I could take it all like an adult. I s'pose that's what I am.. an adult. ew. I don't want to keep secrets but Mom knows he's seeing someone and the rest is not my place to tell. Messy messy messy.

The fiance` and I are trying to figure out where to live. He lives a bit far from here...close to his job and I live here, very close to my job. He's also in a lease until April. We won't be waiting until then to get married. I think we're both hoping for the next month or so. Pretty crazy, eh? Because of the bank holiday (Columbus Day), I have a 3 day weekend next week. That sounds nice. We tried acting like your typical couple yesterday and it cracked us both up. He's funny. I'm happy.. Things are happy. He's so good to me. kj? How's next weekend looking for you? I love it!!

Panties in a bunch.

I'm so angry I could just.. SPIT right now. err..something. I was sick at work twice yesterday and they sent me home.. I haven't been there long and only have 8 hours of sick time built up. Generally I'm wonderful at never touchin' the stuff. I like it to build and such. Today I got sick again at work. I was trying hard to stifle it but it was impossible. A co-worker asked if I'm pregnant and then I was promptly sent home again. I asked to stay and promised not to breathe on anyone or touch anything. They literally had a damn can of Apple Lysol sitting next to me. Argh. And so..here I am, at home. I should just relax and rest but I'm frustrated because I just started this job and now feel like a total louse for going home early... (but they made me!!) and also because I don't have the time for this.. Now my paycheck will be smaller. It's small enough already!! Damn it all. Oh well. I've more ginger ale to sip and I s'pose the cool, rainy day is perfect for lazing about on the couch.

Oh, and.. just for the record. I'm not pregnant. For sure..not pregnant. heh. Besides, like Chesty said..you can't get pregnant before you're married!! silly geese.