Vacation for Beginners:

Ok so I made a lot of mistakes in [not] planning this vacation. The past couple of weeks have been a flurry of activity to get done all sorts of school-related things before the first half of this term ended. The second half that begins when I return Monday is different. I'll be working at a hospital I really like on the telemetry floor. It was deadline city. I'm blaming that for the fact that I barely planned for this vacation. I felt guilty making plans when I should instead be doing homework and thus we floundered. I had a couple little breakdowns that ended in tears and usually me curled up sleeping on our hotel bed. It was like I froze. I kind of want to go into that more but also think maybe it's not necessary or who wants to read that? Maybe you could relate though. Let's see what happens.

The first day we got into Portland I was excited and ready. It didn't take long and I was frustrated. My patience level is non-existent and that is guilt-inducing. I shouldn't act that way but I do. I end up taking it all out on my travel companion and roommate. I'm flustered and bitchy and mean. I hate to admit this but I planned a lot of our "vacation" around things I've read about on other people's blogs. I had made notes of restaurants and things to see and ways to navigate. It sounded hip and cool and it's time to realize I am neither. On this, the last full day of our vacation it is now that I'm realizing that I didn't arrange a vacation that really suited either of us very well. "Public transportation is awesome! Let's use that!" Enter huge amounts of stress and bickering on my part and helpless looks from my roommate, unsure what to do with me or our situation at hand. I've never tried navigating the streets of Kansas City this way.
Also, I spent huge amounts of time keeping a mental tab of the number of things we'd done. Is it enough? Is this right? Is this how you're "supposed" to spend vacation? Are we complete losers for spending half the day hangin' in our hotel room with the balcony door open and the TV on? Obviously to me, if someone else were having those thoughts I'd assure them that anything enjoyable was ok! Anything that felt fun and relaxing was just right for vacation but I was completely unable to be settled with those thoughts in my head.

My favorite day in Oregon was our day at the coast. Roommate had never seen the ocean and I swear to god he sparkled there. He smiled and suggested we take our shoes off and my insides nearly burst. I loved that. It was just the perfect kind of beach with silvery sands and cool, glittery water. We ate dinner in this log cabin place, Morris' Fireside Restaurant. There were amazing crab cakes and we sat next to the fireplace. It was warm.

The day we flew into San Francisco was the day I cried. Everything went smoothly except I had no idea where exactly our hotel was located or what their phone number was. Gee, maybe that's pertinent information to have? I called our hotel and they had no reservation for us. It didn't help that Bergen, the reservation man, was super snotty to me while I sat huddled over our luggage in a corner of the airport trying to get my bearings. I sat blinking and bewildered after getting off the phone with him and then decided to call back. "Hi, I just called. Please check again for my reservation." Bergen: Oh, yes, it's right here. ROAR! Instead of struggling with the subway we shelled out $35.00 for a cab that went smoothly straight to our hotel. Worth it. Our hotel room here is small and cozy (depending on one's perspective). We were starving and grumpy when we got here and I actually suggested we just change our tickets and go home. (I know, right?) It's embarassing for me to admit how awful I can be. It's nearly impossible for me to just chill and roll with it. I whine and cry and sometimes I throw things. After stalking Lane in gmail she told me a nearby place to eat. Once our bellies were full we smiled more and walked the streets awhile. We're staying in Union Square amidst all sorts of shopping, expensive stores I've never seen in my life.
The next day found us on the streets again. We had a great late breakfast/early lunch at Specialty's, watched pigeons, people on the streets. A group of guys was sitting on the sidewalk lunching and sharing a joint and I wished I could partake and just chill the fuck out. Instead we walked in the lovely sunshine and I yet again freaked out. I stood on the corner of Market and Montgomery and talked about what a stupid idea it was to come here. See? Wow. You'd never believe how insanely patient my roommate is with me. While I'm being a monster he's quiet and pretty much waits for the storm to pass. It makes me a little sad to reflect on how I am sometimes. I marched us back to our hotel room then and silently crawled on our hotel bed and went to sleep. When I woke up I talked to Lane again (in New Zealand now but was living in SF). She talked me through step-by-step how to use the subway and addresses of places to go. We easily used BART and made our way to the Mission. We walked the streets, eyes wide. We made our way to Dolores Park and it was the perfect day for it. It was lovely. Dinner in a tacqueria (La Corneta) and then back on BART to the Metreon where we saw a movie. I questioned at the theater, "Is it stupid to see a movie on vacation? We could do this at home." My roommate assured me that it was ok because we're on vacation and we can do things that are relaxing and fun. We saw 300.
Today we got up and went to the SFMOMA. We got to see some of Picasso's work. That was pretty exciting. After that we walked around quite a bit then ate lunch before going through Chinatown up to the super touristy piers at Fisherman's Wharf. It was absurd. We went out on the Lovely Martha under the Golden Gate Bridge and around Alcatraz not long before sunset.
Some more strolling the streets, thai food from the place next door eaten on our hotel bed and now adult swim and whiskey.

Perhaps part of my struggle with vacation is having this unsure idea about it. When I was young our vacations were always camping. That's what we did nearly every summer is go camping and fishing. We didn't go places and then shop or hit up a bunch of touristy places. We'd drive around in the mountains, cook dinner on the fire and once we went to Silver Dollar City. I've gotta get over this strange idea I have in my head that runs something like "Vacation looks like This." Also, better planning.

Roommate: I'm sorry.

Pictures here once we're home.

(written 3/15 but blogger was pooptastic)