Just a wee sidenote.

Heidi Swanson has a lovely site.
She cooks and takes amazing photos.
This is her gorgeous cookbook.
I bought one for myself and my mom for mother's day.
Here's an article from salon and I'd have to say she indeed makes quinoa sexy.

"In 'Super Natural Cooking,' Swanson not only goes a long way toward helping 'whole' foods shed their stale, hippie stigma but also makes a strong case for putting natural foods at the center of an emerging, modern, global cuisine."

That was a lot of linky goodness.
love love.

New

So you know from my last post how I love new stuff... The new house we're moving into has multiple lilac bushes and white spirea bushes too. There's also a really big holly tree that's going to have pretty red berries in the winter. This is the first time I've been so inspired to make the yard really great. The yard isn't the average rectangle/grass patch. There are a few patches of flowers, the bushes mentioned before, a couple rock walls, two walkways and a curvy driveway. I'm so excited to dig in the dirt! On May 5 the Farmer's Market opens (down the street) and this fine arts theater (aren't those awesome colors? great picture felixtcat) is within walking distance but sadly, I still don't think they've opened it back up. Any word on that?

Roommate said it's like our little cottage and it's definitely reminiscent of such. Here's a picture minus our address.. I may take the picture down soon...should I?

I love it.

Talking myself through my thoughts.

Ya'know, I was just thinking and realizing -- when it was politics time around these parts (geographically and blogospherically), I got sort of weirded out, for lack of better explanation. I started feeling really confused reading the various back and forths and while there was indeed some weird shit goin' down in my life, I backed off. I think, looking back, that in this local blog realm, I started feeling like I didn't belong? I'm not sure. That's sounds pretty Playground Rejection mopey to me but it's a new realization. I honestly think The Political Conversation made me feel pretty stupid and writing about test anxiety or mowing my grass or eggless chocolate chip cookies seemed so... trivial. Granted, most everything I've written on here is rather trivial but sometimes I enjoy seeing what April last year was like. I didn't understand the politics, the opinions, etc. and see now I pulled away from those blogs and my own.

I still don't have a lot to write here and for some reason it feels strange to talk about good news here. Recently dooce moved into a new home and I read her account of the move and looked at the pictures of their new house and I was all gristly with jealousy. I was jealous of the expanse of 6 inch chocolate plank wood floors, the cool new lamp, the view from the living room. I hate feeling that way and am more than a little embarassed by it, especially after being called materialistic by my roommate tonight. For some reason it hit me in just the right spot and now I feel a little heartbroken about it.

My good news I feel awkward sharing is that we found a house. I completely released the landlords with all the great selection that rented all the ones I was interested in even after I called and eagerly expressed interest repeatedly. I released the great-with-a-stipulation wood shop situation house. I decided we'd hold out for what we wanted and I hoped that'd happen by July 1 when we had to be outta here and .. it did. While we can't have a dog there right now I've become ok with that. I think we've got schedules to work out and settling to do before having a dog anyway. Maybe that sounds like justification. Anyway, this house feels like a home to me. It hit my gut in the first few seconds I looked at it and I said outloud, "I want this house." I talked to my mom a little about it and she asked me why, if I wanted it, I wasn't going after it. I called right away, looked at it a couple hours later and signed the lease today.

This house is a house I'd love to have you over to. It's a house I can see myself in for years and years. The entire situation felt like a grown-up move and along with the decisions we made I've started thinking about a few things maybe we could invest in -- upgrades, you might say. Roommate and I both have hand-me-downs, mish mash things and they're fine but there are some things I'd like to have as our things. In our talk of such Things he told me I'm materialistic and I've been feeling down about it ever since. In my heart I want this simple, enriched life. I want to live simply and comfortably without a bunch of unnecessary Stuff. One can get by with very little. Perhaps it is awfully materialistic to set out wanting new stuff now. Regardless, we will be making the move with our old stuff in tow on May 25.
I'm grateful and a wee bit confused.

A wrap-up.

It's been a good week. Things are always moving pretty steady as far as school and clinicals. The weather is amazing. There's a new development in the kitchen and it's light chocolate silk soy milk. I drink a glass of it every single day when I get home from the hospital and it's good. It totally hits that walk-in-the-door-kick-off-the-shoes-grab-a-snack thing. I'm not generally some sort of soy milk promoter but yum.

Three and a half more months.

I started writing this without a plan and realize I don't have a lot to say.

Heart

Last Thursday I finally had my day to go and observe in the operating room. Nearly all of my classmates did this last term and so I've been itching to go since then. I heard varying remarks from people who'd gone regarding the long periods of standing, the frigid temps, the saws, the shattering bones, and most gruesome - the remarks surgeons made about the patients. Sure, I like watching the occasional TV surgery but I wasn't sure how I'd respond to being right there. Turns out, I respond pretty well.

When I got to the OR that morning it was about 6:40 and the lady running the board asked how long I could stay. She said most wanna stay an hour or so and get outta there. A short surgery seemed to equate boring to me so I told her I could stay all day and stay all day I did. She signed me up for the open heart surgery. I first spent time standing outta the way while the OR was prepped. Then I went upstairs with a nurse to get the patient. She checked his chart, had him explain what was going to happen during his surgery and once the doctor was finished we wheeled his bed downstairs. His wife kissed him a lot before we took him into the OR and I thought how scary it must be for them both. It must've been even more scary when we wheeled him through the double doors and in the cold, white operating room lay a skinny table that looked like a cross and a table piled and piled with silver instruments.

At first I was sort of tucked neatly into a corner out of the way about 10 feet from his feet. I wondered at 5'2" how in the hell I'd see anything except the surgeon's back. The patient went under, I put in his catheter and his entire body was shaved. I went back to my corner as instructed. After a vein was neatly harvested from his groin the nurse gave me a pair of safety glasses and a step stool. She placed me with the anesthesiologist at the head of the bed. I was standing with the patient's head in front of my legs and I was staring over a plastic sheet at his chest. The surgeon was within elbowing distance. From my perch I saw his chest opened. I saw his heart beating. I saw his heart stopped. I saw it started again later. While they stopped his heart it sort of wound down. It beat slower and slower and they packed it in crushed ice. It looked like a spilled cherry sno-cone in there. The heart struggled to beat, beat, beat and then stopped. His aortic valve was replaced with one from a cow.

The entire procedure was amazing. I couldn't believe how awe-inspiring it was. Surgeons really must get a total high after a surgery is complete. After being at the hospital for nearly 10 hours I had to leave. I hadn't planned on being there so long and when I left his chest still hadn't been closed. Maybe this nursing thing really will work out.

a link

The Dalai Lama has a website.

Not on housing..

I'm sorry for all the blah blah complaints on housing issues. It's honestly an exciting time and as I came down the elevator at the hospital today I decided we're not going to just "make something work." Instead of hoping that the time after this we'll be able to get a dog or have indoor plumbing we're going to hold out for it now. I had also, only somewhat reluctantly, decided today that we aren't interested in wood shop house. I came home to an email from potential landlord saying she had someone interested in buying so either way, the decision came and I feel good about it. Our next home probably won't be our forever home but I'd like to stay awhile.

--------------------

I've really laid off on the blogging lately. There were some pressing issues around me and I avoided this place awhile. It actually feels sort of strange posting here. Part of me feels like moving on and dumping this but I always come back to it. It's an old lover I just can't shake.

School is moving along, surprisingly. I don't get awesome grades but I do just fine with my flesh and blood patients so that's ok with me. It feels like I'm learning a ton this round of clinicals and for this term as far as class goes we've moved into a new building that has windows (!) and knowledgeable instructors (!). Last term had neither. I've also been busy cramming my foot in the door at the hospital I really want to work at. It's looking good I think.

I never wrote much good about our trip to Portland and San Francisco but one of those posts is coming because there was tons of good stuff. I also have pictures I'd like to get around to sharing. Sitting down to upload them all has seemed like quite the daunting task.

Mom gave me my dad's old french press coffeemaker so I've been making pressed (and delicious) coffee. I've not yet gotten hardcore and purchased a burr mill like my mom has (so cute with the hand crank and the inscribed "Kaffee").

Things are goin' along, ya'know? I'm really going to be patient about looking for a place to live and also stop being so femme with the looking at a house and picturing the couch in it automatically. I develop this unwarranted attachment nearly immediately and am consequently disappointed when it doesn't work out. Tomorrow I'll get to be in the operating room and I'm excited about that 1) to see a surgery and 2) because I don't have to DO anything. Hope all is well in your world. Spring got flighty and they're talking snow on Saturday but I know some sun's comin'.

Responses:

1. I'm sorry, let's put this on hold for awhile!
2. Oh no, absolutely no cats!
3. Oh no, absolutely no dogs!
4. Thanks but it's already rented.
5. Oh no, absolutely no dogs OR cats either one!
6. What kind of pet is it? Oh. Then no.

Housing Woes.

Ever since I "moved out" on my own I've had some semi-weird living situation. In college I lived in the dorm surrounded by people 24/7. I liked it then. After college I worked for a non-profit place, err, this big old house converted to apartments, reserved for homeless people trying to get back on their feet. I was the resident manager and had this attic apartment that was super charming to the max, super small, and also located on the top of this house full of other people. I lived there with catten as a stowaway. After a couple years I was tired of social work 24/7 at my job and at my home/job so I moved.

A family member's parents (only related by marriage mind you) had this house just sitting empty and said I could live there for awhile for free. Nevermind the fact that the house was still packed to the gills with stuff. It had a huge deck and a gorgeous yard that I was not allowed to grace with a dog EVER, NO WAY, DON'T ASK! After I married, he moved into that house with me. Poor Roommate left most all of his things packed in boxes in the garage. There was just no room for stuff. They decided they wanted to charge a bunch of rent but leave all their shit there and so we got out.

We moved into this house, a cute bungalow with mostly all we need. One of its downfalls is the fact that we have no shower upstairs. We have a bathtub but the shower is in our dank basement. Ew. We use it regularly, regardless of it's shittastic location but I'll never not check the bathroom for a shower again.

This brings us to now. My main point here is that it seems like I've always lived in these house/locations/situations that had some sort of stipulation. "You can live here, around all our shit." -- "If you rent this house it has a two car garage but we use it so you can't." -- "Here's the nifty mold fest of a shower in the concrete laden basement, hurrah!" Now we've found a house we really like in a great location. It is in the single digits as far as mileage from Roommate's work and my (potential, cross your fingers) work. It - overlooks - a - lake! It has a fenced yard and we can have a dog, our cat, whatever. It also comes with a STIPULATION. The neighbor, a retired gentleman, uses the addition as a wood shop to build furniture. He will continue using it as a wood shop should we decide to move in.
--and the needle scratches to a halt across the record.
I'm 99% like, I LOVE THE HOUSE WHO CARES and I'm partly like, shit man, I just want a house we can claim. I'm still not ready to purchase a house, for a myriad of reasons that all make a lot of sense to me. Is the wood shop no big deal? Is it awkward and weird? I mean, maybe he piddles in there during the day once a week. Maybe he's hardcore. Maybe he'll want to come in and chat every single time he comes over. I don't know. The search is frustrating. This house feels like such a good deal but then... Wood Shop. Blargh.

This is really a lot of nothing in true blogger fashion.

I'm all mad about the housing situation now. I'd been in contact several times with some (seemingly) great landlords. They (husband & wife) have tons of houses for rent around the area. There were about six currently or about to be available. I was interested in three of those. I spoke with him on the phone about them and told him I was very interested and would like to see the houses as soon as they were available and on and on. I also told him I hoped we could stay in contact as I knew their homes would rent fast. He was super nice to me on the phone and said he had all my contact information and would let me know about the homes coming available... He said to me, "Oh, I won't just let them go without getting in touch with you first." This was before we went on vacation and he told me then to give him about two weeks and he'd have more details. These are great homes and I know someone that has rented from them and said they're fantastic landlords. I gave him about two weeks and called back, noting in my message that I saw on their website a couple new houses for rent. There was one in particular I was super interested in and told him that. I drove by it today on my way home from the hospital. It'd be less than five miles from my work and ten or so from Roommate's work. Awesome. The house is fairly big, fenced yard, deck, dogs allowed, hurrah. I called once again tonight after no returned phone call. I checked their website and it'd been updated. All the homes are leased.

Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach

Mail.

Ironically or not, the house we live in now formerly housed a boss of mine. She wasn't much of a boss in the sense that it wasn't much of a job. All the same, not long after we moved in here, we started getting some mail now and then with her name on it. Her mail is generally amusing (not that we'd ever open it..). She's had a few lawyer bills and a few letters with court dates. She subscribed to all sorts of shit about running. Today her renewal letter for some sort of feminist magazine came.

I have so much to tell you, though most of it you'll never know.

Chocolate Jesus.

Tom Waits had it right.
Interesting article and I love the song bearing the same name but I can't help but think there are hungry people that could eat some of the food this artist uses, a house covered in five tons of cheese for instance.