Saturday Adventure with S.

Our friend, S., came over Saturday. We hadn't seen her forever. We ended up on a nice little drive around the city and here are some things we saw.



The scarecrow down the street at the chiropractor's office.



I could not figure out what the hell this genius advertising was until S. said immediately, "It's a big toe."



Aww, old McDonald's near our house.



Here are some pretty awesome white guys. Please note awesome ZOMBI3 license plate. I took this photo out of the sun roof. They were pretty excited..as noted in the next photo.



At the stoplight they cruised up past us and there was smiling and waving (and more picture-taking) involved.


We stopped at Sonic for drinks. This was the nicest Sonic I'd ever been to as we were, at this point, in an expensive part of town. I was being a jackass making damn hipster SUV jokes and after we ordered I looked to the right and asked S. to roll down the window so I could hear what the lady next to us was ordering. She ordered a large ice water with extra ice. It turned out to be absolutely hysterical to me and I laughed until I was crying. Admittedly, Sonic does have awesome ice.



These guys - also stoked I took their picture. I wish you could see the guy in the back with an amazing white boy afro.



Almost home.

Apologies

After re-reading the post I made earlier I felt sort of crude and unnecessarily so.

I'm also learning that cynicism isn't all it's cracked up to be. It doesn't always equate funny and snarky.

"Dear Diary"

Whaddup, jerks?
I'm just sittin' here sippin' tea and shit.

Today was pointless-doctor's-visit-day. I peed in my special cup with my name on it, told the nurse I'm doin' fine while we talked insurance and then I listened while my doctor held a doppler on the lower left of my abdomen and the baby's heart drum drummed. I don't feel teary or anything when I hear our baby's heartbeat (!). Today was only the second time. I do, however feel something big. I start to feel a little bit giggly and embarrassed. It's just so...so personal. It's like I've just stood up and bared my ass for absolutely no reason at all (not that there aren't some really great reasons to stand up and bare one's ass, mind you).

The doctor did tell me to GAIN SOME WEIGHT! Hurrah! That's so fucking awesome. I've lost nine pounds since the last visit a month ago. It's so not intentional and the hybrid is getting lots of nutrition so don't start with me!

We have a month to decide whether or not we want to know the baby's sex. I'll admit there's a part of me - a small part of me but a part all the same that would sort of like to know. I just love surprises and I feel like it would be icing on the cake - the birth day cake, if you will.

Things are go go goin' along. Tomorrow = work. Boards are quickly approching = UGH. And before I forget - men love me lately! I'm not sure what's going on. I'm either exuding sex or Glow or, my guess, confidence. It makes me laugh and shave my legs.
Later.

A review of "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy from Gregg.


Roommate: Do not read that.

Puddleglum.

I'm rather low at the moment and not 100% sure why. There are a few contributing factors, hormones being one but that feels like a cop out. There are a lot of other things going on inside my brain right now.

Looking at pregnancy information online feels very narcissistic. We're about to head into week 15. I have a doctor's appointment Wednesday that I'm completely indifferent about. A bit of poking. A bit of prodding. A nod. A smile. A bill in the mail.
I'm all fucked up over insurances and hospitals and getting the best "deal." Fuck. I hate that stuff. Hate is not a strong enough word.

These pregnancy email update things are fairly lame. I tend to gobble at things like that so giving me a snippet that informs me my hybrid is now covered in lanugo is completely yawn worthy. The update I just read told me nothing and then gave me a carrot muffin recipe.
Could I be more negative right now?

I'm tired. Sorry.

I'm so bad at this.

But to my fucking amazing roommate, Happy Anniversary!
You make this topsy turvy trip we're on much more fun.
I look forward to you every day. You amp up the goodness in my life.
So glad you're here.

I bought these for our baby's room today. I love Camilla Engman's work so much. I actually already own the "listen" print though it's printed on a page from a children's book. I wanted the rest of these prints. I'd also like to put some Kathleen Lolley pictures in that room but her work is hard to find. I love love love the colors in Lolley's art. There are a couple prints of hers hanging in our bathroom.

Hometown.

In Kansas.

I thought we might see Dorothy or a Leprechaun at any moment.

The survivors.

Sorry, another one.

I'm mostly putting this here so I can perhaps snicker at it in a year or three. I had another "fun" dream last night. This time my uterus was tethered outside my body by a cord that went into my hip and then somewhere in my body. There was this smallish, warm, wet uterus just sort of bouncing along against my upper thigh and when I touched it little feet would kick my fingers. I was very concerned about this discovery of the outtie uterus and consulted my mom. She assured me to put away my ridiculous concerns because eventually it would "go back in."

Run down.

Every time I woke up last night I made mental note of the fact that it was freezing in our bedroom. I planned this elaborate sleep-in but went ahead and got up at 7 which is ok because that was sleeping in. Ran a bath to warm up and bathed without the lights on. I hadn't even rinsed the shampoo from my hair when I felt it. I rinse rinsed as fast as I could but couldn't get out of the bath in time so I stood up and bent at the waist to vomit in my warm bath water. Rinsed my legs and my mouth with the tap then got out feeling defeated. I've been under a blanket with a space heater nearby most of the day since. Awhile ago I felt productive so I scurried around and gathered a heap of laundry to do. I put it in. Then I made myself a cup of tea and stood in the backyard. Have been listening to the new Iron & Wine all morning. Lost 5 pounds since I started work.

Typical dream talk blog bits.

I seriously have some vivid dreams since getting knocked up. Last night I dreamt (here goes!) we had a baby girl. (Popular, typical dream follows) The day we brought the baby home, we decided to go out and visit some museums and have dinner, etc. We forgot the baby at home. We were halfway through our day o' fun when I realized this and reminded the roommate - uh, we left the baby at home. "She has to eat or she'll die," I said. Simple fix, we'll go home and then bring her with us but then we realized we didn't own baby things like a car seat.

Reminder: I somehow killed one of our fish this week and there are several plants dropping crispy dead pieces on the floor as we speak.

Peek into..

The 12 hour days are killing me. If you work 12 hour days - don't you dare get all indignant on me. You know they're hard and here's a pat on your back that you deserve.
I'm so beat at the end of the day. My body is physically exhausted - nevermind my brain.
Tomorrow's my 3rd day this week then off! Hurrah.
I made stew last night..overnight..in the crock pot. I know, how hip of me.
Should we talk about Gold Bond medicated powder next?

My roommate is in the other room listening to LCD Soundsystem and that makes me smile. He is this huge bright spot in my day. It's priceless. It's unbelievably nice to look forward to coming home to him. I get off and I'm exhausted and ok maybe a little bit on the grumpy side and then I'm like, oh yeah, that guy's at home and he totally rocks. He smiles at me when I come home.

He smiles at me when I come home...

Normal?

This is a picture of our suckerfish (top right). He has spent the majority of today floating upside down at the top of the aquarium. I keep thinking he's dead but he's breathing and if I tap the glass next to him he swims off and starts sucking on something. Roommate suggests he is perhaps "relaxing." Is he...about to die? What the? Poor guy. I think he's gonna die today.
A Google search brought up some sort of bladder disorder where the fish start floating upside down before they die.

Happy Birthday to my dad today.

Oh my head is just full of thoughts about my dad right now but I'll just say happy birthday. I miss him incredibly.

Turns out Sunday morning, not so easy.

The Sickness is back in full force this morning. Damn it. I've been sipping ice water and am considering an apple but man I'm feelin' rough.

Our day was nice yesterday, really nice. We slept in and had coffee in bed while we read. We eventually transferred downstairs where much of the same ensued before we went out for lunch. Low key evening, Saturday Night Live which actually made me laugh out loud and I finished my book. I was reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I'm annoyed that it was part of Oprah's Book Club because I'd heard of it before her name-bearing sticker got slapped on the front. All the same, I seriously enjoyed the book.

Friday I was worn out. Those three days of work were exhausting. By the end of the third day I was definitely cranky. Tomorrow's the start of three more. The second day seems to be the worst because you're tired from the first and know you've got another ahead. The first isn't so bad and the third is best because you know you're about to have a day off. I've encountered some frustrating things and people at the hospital but that's super normal and I'm doing my best to be positive and in good humor.

I'll also make note that this past week and continuing on into the next I look like a leper. I have fever blisters on my lip and now they've spread a trail up towards my nose. It's disgusting and painful and I'm embarrassed to take care of patients looking diseased. I've gotten fever blisters before, usually when very stressed and I usually take a bunch of lysine but I read not to take that while pregnant so...yuck.

Things are just going along steady here. I think I've decided to drop my class that started last week. Doing so sort of makes me feel like I'm 15 and knocked up and dropping out of high school. It feels like a very predictable thing to do and that's frustrating but I don't feel like it's going to get me ahead in any way. Instead I feel like it's just adding unneeded stress. I've got to pass boards and get going at my new job. It's only one class but I've decided not to take classes next semester because the hybrid will arrive before the end of the semester and I know people do it all the time but... I think I'll drop the class.

Tell me your thoughts on finding out the gender of Hybrid. (Saying "baby" feels awfully intimate so I find myself avoiding it. There's still an element of distance here because anything can happen and I'm also still shocked.) The only argument I've received from anyone is the planning aspect - decorating a room, buying clothes. It feels equally as annoying on my end to argue that girls can wear blue too!

Soft.

This is mostly random things from here and there because I'm completely unable to organize my thoughts at all. First off, tomorrow I finally work my first shift at the new job. Also mind blowing, I studied today for my NCLEX. I'm working Wed, Thurs, Fri and I know I'll be a totally wiped out weenie by Friday night. Twelve hour shifts are hard to me. There have been some days during clinical that were super busy and people were in good moods and they just magically flew by. When those days end you feel good, like the day was a success.

Tonight I decided to make beef stew. I'd never made it so I called my mama and asked how to go about stewing. I did what I was supposed to but sort of checked out mentally while the meat was simmering and I ended up burning it. I totally ruined it. It seriously pissed me off. What a waste and it made the house smell. Ew.

Now a complete shift with the remaining theme of softness.
I'm really behind and completely out of any loop that might exist among KC Bloggers. Let me say that I love so many KC bloggers. I get seriously excited to follow your lives and your work and love and what you eat and what makes you angry and on and on. There is something so fascinating for me in following, especially for long periods of time - years. It almost feels like an act of gluttony. It's sometimes fun for me to get really behind on a blog and then in one huge gulp catch up on what's going on. It's like holy shit, all these changes. I love watching human lives unfold.

Tony's Kansas City is a blog I enjoy. If I'm really honest, I mostly just look at it for the naked bitches, but still. I'd make beef stew for Tony and invite him over to my house to eat it. Tonight I read his blog for awhile. It's easy to get behind on Tony's blog because he posts so much stuff on a daily basis. I read a ton of the comments people leave on his blog and DAMN, people. Wow. I'm guessing that a lot of the people leaving comments on his blog do not read mine but damn all the same. Reading those comments made me feel like shit. Forgive me for stating the obvious and being so..you know, but people are mean. He stirs up plenty, no doubt but I felt gross inside. I've written here before saying a lot of the same stuff when all the political craziness was happening. Perhaps I'm naive and we know I'm soft.

WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING? This is exhausting. At some point do people stop viewing one another as human? I feel like if I needed to, I could totally kick some ass out in the world, literally, ass kickin', but I also know that if people were leaving majorly hurtful comments on my blog I'd take issue with it. It wouldn't all just roll off my back. I might cry. I might stop blogging awhile. I might shut off comments. I don't know but again, damn. And I'm soft.

Dear Internet,

Will someone make these for me?
Please and thank you ahead of time.

Yours,
pom.

LCD Soundsystem & Arcade Fire

LCD Soundsystem - I loved these guys and went out and bought some of their music the next day. I had (admittedly) never heard of them.

Moon over Starlight


Arcade Fire




During the encore.



Oh accordion! How I love thee!!




Here's a fun review of the show from jdoublep (and his glorious dancing pregnant rockin' wife).

Also a review from Brad! Roommate will happily take the violin player you don't, Brad.

I think all of these photos are way more fun viewed big and fat.