A smattering of things.
I kind of want to talk about what I'm feeling and it seems sort of unproductive but I want it recorded.
Also, a lot of blogs I read that happen to be of women that have had babies, I read what was happening the weeks up to their labor, the hours before, etc. What were they feeling and thinking? At what point did they know?
Last night Roommate and I watched "There Will Be Blood." About halfway into the movie I realized I was having what seemed like regular contractions. Usually I have a lot of contractions at work while I'm walking around or immediately after work. I thought after awhile oh what the hell, I'm going to start peeking at the clock when I have these. They were 5 minutes apart lasting about a minute each so I finally told Roommate I'd been timing contractions. I did so another hour or so as the movie went on, me lounging on the couch. I decided to take a long, warm bath and just see if changing my activity changed the contractions. I had them through the bath, through another movie and then as I went to bed, still contracting. The contractions were totally regular and fairly strong but not painful at all, they just sort of took my breath away and got my attention.
I slept through the night and when I woke up this morning, no contractions but my back was hurting. That back pain felt very muscular in nature, like you'd feel after working in your yard all day. I've also had a plentiful amount of mucus exiting my body all day. I realize the plug (so fun to say, ugh) can jump ship all at once or more slowly. Still no bloody show, however.
I had a meeting at work today then came home and hung out awhile before we decided to go out for Thai food. I ate way too much. At home I felt poopy and pooped. I fell asleep on the couch for a little bit and when I woke up I just felt so insanely achey. My whole back just, so damn achey like a really crappy period. I pooped again. The weird ache got me feeling kind of jittery and while I'm still trying desperately to just roll with all this, the new things I start feeling get me sort of "is this it?" I feel like those questions are mostly fruitless because when it's time for me to know, I figure I'll know. If I'm still questioning it I definitely don't feel like it's time to call the doc or make a trip to the hospital. When I am finally in labor I want to labor as long as possible at home for a variety of reasons. One of those reasons is that I want to be in a comfortable place alone with my husband, just us, doing this for awhile.
Today was also my first go at checking my own cervix for dilation. Yeah, good luck with that. The midwife's description made it sound like I'd totally have an AHA moment and be like OHHHHHH, this is my cervix! Oh, there's the opening! Mmm..no. All very soft and squishy up there, and mucousy, also mucousy..
Right now I just feel achey and menstrual crampy. No clear starts and stops to pain just feeling rather uncomfortable, sitting on the balance ball fairly often. Tomorrow I work a 12 hour shift. I'm so over working right now. I'm scheduled another week but about to bail on that. Ugh. Super ugh.
My wonderful mama is coming over Sunday to help get things put away. That whole nesting bit never hit and I have to force myself to do absolutely anything requiring energy. The thought of going into labor last night and coming home to this disaster was a crappy thought so we definitely need to get some of this done. I wanna come home to some semblance of peace in the house. I've been reading way too many birth stories and googling like an idiot. Time to relax. It's not like I'm going to miss the show.
4 comments:
A piece of advice, if I may... Try to just roll with it. For every plan you make the baby will make it's own. For everything you know you'll find ten things you never expected. Your Hybrid's birth will be wonderful and unexpected in so many ways, and no Google search could ever prepare you for what is to come. Have faith in what your body can do and it will leave you amazed and grateful.
I think I've been hanging around my mom the doula too much.
With my son (my first) my water broke about 3 hours before labor started, so there was no doubt I was ready to go. However, with my second (my daughter), I actually went to the hospital and got sent home at one point because the contractions stopped. How embarrassing.
These days I believe they at least have some way of knowing if you are having real contractions (I'm sure I was, but they just stopped that first time). Back then, they just all looked at me like, "poor thing, she's had one baby and still doesn't know what contractions feel like." Anyhow, two days later I had my daughter.
From what you describe, it sounds like you could go any time. Or, you could do like I did with my first pregnancy and go two weeks beyond the due date. Blech.
this sounds a lot like how it started with Ro. i was in labor, I'm convinced for at least 3 days prior to his birth, but the contractions would stop just short of my doc's recommendation on when to come in to the hospital. in fact becaues my contractions never quite met the 1 min long, 5 mins apart for an hour thing, he never gave me the go-ahead to go in, I just went on my own -- still sort of doubting I was in labor, since, you know, my gyno does this every day and he's telling me this isn't it -- and lo and behold I was a 4 and 90% effaced. They admitted me on the spot and ordered my epidural (after which I greatfully fell asleep for a good 45 mins). Go figure. The major difference I can see with what you're explaining was that I couldn't sleep through the contractions. I could go to sleep, but literally as soon as I'd fall asleep a contraction would wake me up. Talk about Chinese water torture. They weren't crazy painful as I recall, mostly a cramping pain in my lower back, but they certainly weren't something my body would let me sleep through. So, for me, that's how I knew. I knew if I didn't get some sleep, some way some how, I was going to have a nervous breakdown.
And for Bebe of course, we won't talk about that :) and my two failed attempts at getting admitted (like Donna however, I had her just 24 hrs later).
ahhhhhhhhhggggghhhhhh.
having a baby is scary.
bodies are scary.
i feel unhealthy anyway/besides but am glad to not have to feel these things.
scary.
ps, isn't it an interesting era in which we live where we can discuss cervical mucous and pooping with strangers? : )
Post a Comment