Our House.

Feeling emotional about our upcoming move. Thought I'd share a few random shots of our house as we slowly pack. Every time we sit on the porch or walk through the backyard or play at the park across the street I feel like I've got to really seal those memories in. I'm not sure if I'm emotional because we're making a big switch going from our spacious 3 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom apartment or because this is Beebs' first house or what. We're moving June 8 - 2 weeks from today, er at least that's the first day we can have the apartment. I know, I know - who moves on a Monday? But that's what we're doing. Tell me some good moving/packing tips! Last time we moved I remember reading stuff online about How to Move on Ask Metafilter. aha. How cool is this? Treehouse Point Seen on not martha. (I LOVE not martha.) COVET! Also awesome: vertical garden, growing decor. NEAT!! Oh I totally love this! Wonder if someone could make one for me. My mom's pretty good at stuff like that. Tricks for your coffee! mm. coffee. Oh how I love cold brew coffee via Smitten. Mmmmmm!!! (xoxo, K) all of these links seen on not martha. see how she's so easy to love? she's so handy! This last one was snapped this evening - she's much less baby, way more toddler in that one! meep. Ahh, fresh start coming. Well, I'm going to make it one. There's a pool at our new apt place and I'm really excited. It's probably generally overrun by teens but whatev. I think we might discover we really like apartment living? Roommate and I have never lived in an apartment together. dot dot dot

Just scrubbed some MRSA from my body probably. Mentally beat. work today. work tomorrow. the employment screens from some other area hospitals stay up on my computer pretty much all the time. I need a vacation. I need to get out of this town, away from my job, for more than a couple days. I'll put my nose to the grind and try to just get through with moving and then I can put more energy into searching for a job. Oh random, but.. damn. my kid is GOOD at growin' teeth. shoot, man. My not-quite-13-month-old has 4 more teeth coming in right now. She can't cut a tooth, girl's gotta go for 4. She'll now have 12 teeth. 12 teeth?! monster! ((I guess probably if you don't have a kid like.. this age.. it's like, um..who the hell cares how many damn teeth your kid has? but ya'know. whatevs. proud mama or something)) Here's something happier.

As I twittered too much about, today Roommate took Beebs to visit his brother and Mom and I was left home alone for the very first time since before Beebs was born. Weird. I didn't realize it'd been that long. Roommate quit his job before the baby was born so we were together a lot on my days off and then the baby came and fast forward to today. We spend a lot of time at home together. We spend a lot of time together, period. And I love that. But today sure was nice. I felt like the possibilities were endless! I did a few productive things and a few indulgent things. One of the indulgent things I did was spend some alone-time with my own thoughts. I need to try to figure out why exactly I am so unhappy at my job. It's a rollercoaster in my brain because it seemed like I was tolerating it for awhile and then the past few shifts I've just been painfully miserable. I'm not lazy. I like working. I like being a nurse. I like most of my co-workers. I don't like the situation at work I encounter daily where I'm running running and behind behind. I try so hard and seem to just FAIL. I get overwhelmed and frustrated. I end up staying there to chart often until after 9 pm. It sucks to get home at 9:30 or 10 at night and have my alarm going off at 5 am the next day for work. Maybe I'm just wimpy? haha. Yeah, I am a little maybe. I like being around my baby. I like getting sleep at night. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with my thoughts. I don't know what area of nursing I'd like better. Sometimes I think I'd like OB. In nursing school I thought I wanted to go into that area but it seemed so TYPICAL and sometimes I envision Labor & Delivery nurses or Mother Baby nurses as like..a sorority. I'd miss working with male patients..especially cute older gentlemen. Oh, K told me today about one of our patients that died. I really liked him. He reminded me of my dad. I'm sad he died. Speakin' of..I loved this post by Sheri. I was totally weeping reading that. My girl & guy will be home soon so...talk to me a little on here will ya? Do you have any insight to my never-ending job quest? Hope you're feelin' good.

We had our moms over yesterday and BBQ'ed. Beebs entertained us all with her non-stop near-running all over the house. She is so fast. She had her first run-in with the corner of the coffee table yesterday and it instantly bruised and started swelling. Heart=broken. It sucks when the wee ones get hurt, man . I just finished reading Hungry Monkey (love his blog) and really enjoyed it in the way that it allowed me to look at feeding my kid differently. I've decided to try harder to develop friendships. I have felt deeply lonely lately and mused over that a bit last night when I heard someone on television call loneliness weakness. Have talked about it before but it's time for me to find a new job. I'm intensely unhappy at the one I have. There are a variety of reasons why but I will miss several co-workers that I feel I've finally gotten into a groove with. Some of my co-workers are so helpful and encouraging that they are the only reason I sometimes survive there. Right now I just can't decide whether it's time to move on now or if I should complete my time there in order to have the student loan paid off. Baby awake now. adieu.

Oh hey, guys. Just finishing up writing out some Mother's Day cards. I've gotten really lame with my gift-giving and hoo boy, greeting cards are so unnecessarily expensive! Damn. Today we went and played with our friends. We ate lunch and played outside in the sunshine. There was a lovely breeze and nice company. Do it again sometime, eh? I was trying to think of something cool to make for dinner but I've come up with nothing. It's such a perfect evening to sit on the porch and drink beer. I wish I liked beer. Perhaps some woodchuck or something. heh. I have that yo gabba gabba song "Don't bite your friends" song stuck in my head. Can't think of anything to write. Gonna porch sit now. laterz.

it ain't pretty.

damn, man. i'm just outta control grumpy today! i think it's a combination of being overwhelmed, tired and lonely. I've been off work a few days 'cause Roommate was sick enough that I felt like a horrible person leaving him alone with Beebs. My mom works until 11 pm and his mom was out of town so our options were limited. He is still sick and I think his poor body is seriously just drained. Yesterday we visited my mom and I was standing in her kitchen in the house I grew up in watching her hold Beebs' hand and walk around the yard, going out to see cows and her now lone chicken. (the neighbor's dog killed the rest and now that poor lone chicken is sitting on a nest full of eggs hoping to hatch out a little family) Anyway, I was trying to say how surreal that was..to see my daughter out there toddling around holding my mom's hand. I have a kid! A toddler! A wee 1 yr old tot!