11.16.2009
11.13.2009
Stalker.
I'm going to tell you about this embarrassing habit I have.
It's stalking.
I am a stalker.
Sometimes when I'm reading your blogs or your whatever that you write on, I take things you say to heart. It might be a book you read that you declare beautiful or inspiring or hysterical and I feel like I must have it in my possession immediately. It might be something you baked, a place you went, the softest pajama pants you've ever owned, a song that moved you. If there's something about you I like or admire, I become interested in things/people/music/food that interests you. I could just say you inspire me but basically, I'm just a stalker. When we went on vacation in Portland & San Francisco I had lists of places some of my favorite bloggers had been and I was so excited to go there myself.
Have been feeling a bit fragile at work lately but inside that feels like weakness and that feels like a flaw and on the outside this feels like hot needles of rage. I think my heart is generally pretty soft (sometimes downright mushy - like out of season tomatoes) but sometimes at work, my patients make me want to pinch their faces off. I have sympathy and empathy for illness and pain and homesickness but sometimes when you're a patient in the hospital you act like an unexcusable asshole. If you only knew how much I'm trying to be great.
It's stalking.
I am a stalker.
Sometimes when I'm reading your blogs or your whatever that you write on, I take things you say to heart. It might be a book you read that you declare beautiful or inspiring or hysterical and I feel like I must have it in my possession immediately. It might be something you baked, a place you went, the softest pajama pants you've ever owned, a song that moved you. If there's something about you I like or admire, I become interested in things/people/music/food that interests you. I could just say you inspire me but basically, I'm just a stalker. When we went on vacation in Portland & San Francisco I had lists of places some of my favorite bloggers had been and I was so excited to go there myself.
Have been feeling a bit fragile at work lately but inside that feels like weakness and that feels like a flaw and on the outside this feels like hot needles of rage. I think my heart is generally pretty soft (sometimes downright mushy - like out of season tomatoes) but sometimes at work, my patients make me want to pinch their faces off. I have sympathy and empathy for illness and pain and homesickness but sometimes when you're a patient in the hospital you act like an unexcusable asshole. If you only knew how much I'm trying to be great.
11.08.2009
Hi. Thanks.
I just washed my Wellbutrin and prenatal vitamin down with a Monster Hitman. Um..gross?
My sister-in-law went from totally shitty to on-the-mend quickly. When we saw her Friday she looked awful. She was very mumbly, quiet and feeling miserable. She had her 2nd angiogram that day and it showed that much of the blood in her brain (around the pons and Circle of Willis) had been reabsorbed. Saturday morning when we got to the hospital she had just showered, her cheeks were all pink and they were planning to move her out of the ICU that day. Today, Sunday, they are sending her home! It seems a bit rushed because I hope her pain is under control and she was nervous and coming home. Her flakey nurse said yesterday that she was improving, "knock on wood!" She was a snot and I couldn't help but judge everything from a nursey standpoint when I was visiting. "Ugh, used syringes laying around! Two meal trays left piled in the room with smelly food. Stuff all over the floor!" and on and on.
Last night my mom came over and Roommate & I went out for dinner and then to the store to gorge ourselves on new music. I got some Fleet Foxes and he got a bunch of other stuff.
I went to the grocery store today and spent $160. We hadn't done real grocery shopping since before we went to Texas at the beginning of October. Since then we've mostly just picked up a couple things for Beebs here and there and have ended up snagging food out on several occasions. This is obviously both expensive and less healthy. I told K I've been eating like a pregnant cow lately. Every meal feels like my last. But! What if we don't go out again for a long time! Better make the most of it! Fatty fat fat. blech!!
Zero energy lately.
Looking forward to Mondo Beyondo in January.
Dreaming of a Beach vacation in the spring?
Loving looking at other people's flickr photos.
Oh also, I left a comment on the previous post but thanks for the donations for my Roommate's sister. There were 2 donations, a total of $30. I'm sending her a check. They'll need every little bit. I can't imagine how much her hospital bills will be. One night in the ICU is incredibly expensive.
There is so much I want to look at online. I have to get hooked up with a reader because I just can't keep up with everything.
Being at other people's houses lately has made me really, really want to own a home but gah, so terrifying! We got new neighbors a week ago (a couple that is from Mexico that has been missionaries there for the past 28 yrs). They had their porch door open yesterday and they looked way more settled in than we do. Pictures all over the walls, lamps and such.
I don't know if it's because I'm turning 30 in less than a month or what but..and..I'm having trouble even putting this into words but I still just feel so in limbo. I can't even describe what I'm feeling but it's overwhelming and has me thinking I need to make lists or something to try to understand what's in my head. Do you know what I mean? It's all encompassing like, ok we need new sheets and I'd like to purchase a new/much larger bed and when might we consider moving into a larger apartment/home? We've been here less than a year. Are we going to have more children? Should I consider going to grad school? Where should I get a new job? We're not saving enough for retirement. and on and on it goes. I guess that's just life? a constant stream of plans and nows and questions. After reading the superhero journal (I love Andrea) I realize that I often forget to enjoy the NOW. Being home with Beebs always reminds me of that. House is a mess? Oh well! At this moment it is important and wonderful that I'm on the floor playing with my daughter.
My sister-in-law went from totally shitty to on-the-mend quickly. When we saw her Friday she looked awful. She was very mumbly, quiet and feeling miserable. She had her 2nd angiogram that day and it showed that much of the blood in her brain (around the pons and Circle of Willis) had been reabsorbed. Saturday morning when we got to the hospital she had just showered, her cheeks were all pink and they were planning to move her out of the ICU that day. Today, Sunday, they are sending her home! It seems a bit rushed because I hope her pain is under control and she was nervous and coming home. Her flakey nurse said yesterday that she was improving, "knock on wood!" She was a snot and I couldn't help but judge everything from a nursey standpoint when I was visiting. "Ugh, used syringes laying around! Two meal trays left piled in the room with smelly food. Stuff all over the floor!" and on and on.
Last night my mom came over and Roommate & I went out for dinner and then to the store to gorge ourselves on new music. I got some Fleet Foxes and he got a bunch of other stuff.
I went to the grocery store today and spent $160. We hadn't done real grocery shopping since before we went to Texas at the beginning of October. Since then we've mostly just picked up a couple things for Beebs here and there and have ended up snagging food out on several occasions. This is obviously both expensive and less healthy. I told K I've been eating like a pregnant cow lately. Every meal feels like my last. But! What if we don't go out again for a long time! Better make the most of it! Fatty fat fat. blech!!
Zero energy lately.
Looking forward to Mondo Beyondo in January.
Dreaming of a Beach vacation in the spring?
Loving looking at other people's flickr photos.
Oh also, I left a comment on the previous post but thanks for the donations for my Roommate's sister. There were 2 donations, a total of $30. I'm sending her a check. They'll need every little bit. I can't imagine how much her hospital bills will be. One night in the ICU is incredibly expensive.
There is so much I want to look at online. I have to get hooked up with a reader because I just can't keep up with everything.
Being at other people's houses lately has made me really, really want to own a home but gah, so terrifying! We got new neighbors a week ago (a couple that is from Mexico that has been missionaries there for the past 28 yrs). They had their porch door open yesterday and they looked way more settled in than we do. Pictures all over the walls, lamps and such.
I don't know if it's because I'm turning 30 in less than a month or what but..and..I'm having trouble even putting this into words but I still just feel so in limbo. I can't even describe what I'm feeling but it's overwhelming and has me thinking I need to make lists or something to try to understand what's in my head. Do you know what I mean? It's all encompassing like, ok we need new sheets and I'd like to purchase a new/much larger bed and when might we consider moving into a larger apartment/home? We've been here less than a year. Are we going to have more children? Should I consider going to grad school? Where should I get a new job? We're not saving enough for retirement. and on and on it goes. I guess that's just life? a constant stream of plans and nows and questions. After reading the superhero journal (I love Andrea) I realize that I often forget to enjoy the NOW. Being home with Beebs always reminds me of that. House is a mess? Oh well! At this moment it is important and wonderful that I'm on the floor playing with my daughter.
11.01.2009
My sister-in-law (Roommate's sister) is in the neuro intensive care. They're going to keep her in the ICU a week and a half at the minimum. Two days ago she started having crazy neck pain which spread into her whole head and then she started vomiting. She's got multiple hemorrhages in her brain. She's 36, married with a 7 year old son. She just had her White Coat Ceremony as she is in Vet Med school at MU. She has just started her clinical residency. She does not have health insurance. I've added a donate button to the right. I had no idea how to do such a thing so I hope I did it right. The hospital she's in is a state hospital so she said they'll allow her to make payments. She's made arrangements with school and said they won't kick her out for this. I'm sad that while she's there waiting for her MRI tomorrow to rule out cancer/etc. that she's thinking ok um how in the hell am I going to pay for this and uh..hope I don't get kicked out of school. ENOUGH on her brain right now..literally. So if you're interested, she could use anything. Will keep you posted on her status. Thanks for reading. Hope you had a fun Halloween!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)