I grew up on a farm. It wasn't a huge farm. The first farm we lived on came stocked when we moved in. It had sheep, cows (including a bull and cows to milk), chickens, guineas, pigs and more. It was only 8 acres or so, a hobby type farm? My mom did most of the work and my dad sort of dabbled in it. We had horses, tractors, a pond full of fish, a little row boat, a huge red barn, cats, dogs. Dreamland. It was a dreamland - I loved it so much.
When I was in the 8th grade we moved to a larger farm, an 80 acre farm. It's where my mom still lives though now she has sold some of the land and it has been developed with several houses. (It's so hard to see it that way). When we moved there we still had animals and now we grew corn and soybeans. We've always had multiple, enormous gardens. My mom canned (still does) fruits and vegetables we grew, froze things to prepare for winter, we belonged to a food co-op. Our backyard was always outfitted with a clothesline and a tire swing.
I think it's only right now as I write this that I realize how deeply I loved all those things. I can't tell you how many times I had a baby lamb or some other baby animal in my room whose mama had died or it'd been rejected. That's heaven to me. I loved all those animals around. I had no idea those gardens were really such a luxury.
My mom has multiple times now offered us a piece of her land to build a house on. As a gift. She's offered us her home and said she'd build herself a different one. I don't know how I could possibly reject this offer but now that I have a daughter I'm having so much trouble with the idea of us living there. And could I be my mom's next-door neighbor?! Some cons of living there include the small worldviews many residents of that community have. The schools there are great but the cultural diversity is fairly non-existent. The class options are limited and I'm just not a home-schooler. There are so many things Beebs might be involved in that wouldn't be available there and I hate driving 30, 40+ minutes to go anywhere and do anything. IF I were to still work in this area, the commute to work would be over an hour. The closest hospital to my Mom's house is 30-some miles away. I realize I could work somewhere besides a hospital..just sayin'. I don't know what to do with this. The other night before I fell asleep I pictured us building a little house. I imagined my mom helping me do my own garden. I imagined Beebs running and playing in that wide open space. I imagined her with a bottle feeding a little lamb with a converted soda bottle. And I just don't know what to do.
Well, having lived "rural" for all my married life, I don't see a problem. If it's within an hour of the KC area, it can't be too isolated.
ReplyDeleteNow, about living next door to your mom? That just depends on you and your mom. Will she interfere? Will you feel three years old again, living next door to her?
That old mother-daughter thing can be the straw that broke the camel's back, even if you love each other.
Are you sure you don't know what to do? It sounds like you know what you want. You just have to make it a reality and make your plan.
ReplyDeleteDonna's right about the mother-daughter thing, but if you talk it out and establish your boundaries, it should work out. But you have to talk it out.
but those other factors..
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine my daughter growing up in the same school i did .. i mean seriously .. NO diversity .. a bunch of middle class white kids.
cannot do the commuting thing.
would miss lovely city conveniences.
options, possibilities.
My mom would be insanely happy if we lived by her..but we're talking next door and i'm not sure i could handle that. ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
i think it might be too isolated for you. you seem to do better when you have options to see people in person. and, driving to work 40 minutes may be an american tradition, but i have avoided it for years. limits certain job options, but i haven't ever scored a job far from home anyway. i'm talking walking distance. (there are 2 hospitals just down the street, too : ) want our house? it needs a bunch of junk, but … just saying. half serious all the time. i don't know that we can keep attached to its needs.
ReplyDeletei have always fantasized about farm-life, too, but, like you said, you already lived it and you want beebs to be better prepared for the real world (unless things radically change and farm-life becomes THE life again … — not helpful of me, i know). you could "commute" her to urban activities. but that's no fun either. one of my friends lived in suburbs and drove her kids all kinds of places to "do things." maybe not diverse ones, but stuff that was educational and /or sporty. bleh. i don't know anything about raising children, but if you know you can't homeschool or know that there aren't any like-you moms or friends out there, i would lean away from it at this time. mom can always give you the land later.