I'm totally my own devil.
On this gray day, this morning I started scheming to go to Target and proceed to purchase a few springy things for around the house -- maybe a new pillow for the couch, new tablecloth to brighten things up? a lamp? I guess probably I was just feeling discouraged and fretting about work tomorrow and feeling guilty because I've had 2 calls to return this week and I've yet to do it. Both calls are from last Friday and I have sat with the phone in my hand thinking about calling but..never made the calls.
I bought a few things at Target and mostly just feel guilty about that and what an awful consumer I am now. $4 rug, new tablecloth, a yellow tumbler to drink iced tea from, a little cup for Beebs with birds and butterflies on it, a couple of Liberty media boxes to stash some of my CD's in, etc. Whatevs.
So this afternoon I feed her lunch, light my new candle and run her a bubble bath. She plays in there with her new pink watering can and we're chill. There were lots of bubbles and she's stomping around and drinking water from the watering can shower she's pouring and I realize oh..there's stuff...floating..in here? OH. There's stuff floating in here! It's poop! There's poop everywhere! I get her out of the bath and am actually totally whatevs about the poop - just grossed out that she was in it. Not sure how to clean it up but..will get to that. At this point she's giggly I dry her off and lotion her up and put her in some soft, snuggly clothes and get her settled in for a nap. She's almost asleep when she finishes her milk and she nestles into me and I swear a few minutes later a switch went off somewhere inside her and she went all AWAKE on me. We wrestled with this for awhile and I was getting so annoyed and as I type this I realize it was only because I had made this huge mental list of crap I wanted to get done during her nap time and here she was totally not napping and loving it and I felt like a failure for not knowing how to get her to go to sleep.
Look at this long, drawn out, blah paragraph.
Anyway. I ended up leaving the room. I was frustrated and felt very not-fun so I just left and shut the door most of the way. I kept peeking in on her and a couple of times she caught me and giggled and I'd go off to pick up some clutter or something. Roommate got home and I shed a few tears and made some stupid jokes that annoyed me more and I peeked in on her again and she's just talking and having a great time and so I go do more random stuff and peek in again and she's out cold. Oh my sweet baby. I'm sorry for being frustrated at your for my own stupid ridiculousness.
Time to dump that muck out or the rest of my evening off will be wasted. gah.
I made peach iced tea today -- with Tazo Iced Black Tea (My present fave) and peach nectar. It's delicious.
bye.
oh, also, I think I'll accept that job offer tomorrow for Labor & Delivery. Look out, mamas!!
Ahhh I've had moments like that! I am a cheater with Elias because I continue to nurse him and that is like giving a toddler an ambien every day at 11am, but Owen would fight napping so hard and quit napping all together at like a year. I used to feel insane because I wasn't getting a single break and then by the time he went to bed, I was in bed trying not to die on my feet!The time does fly though, Owen is so autonomous now that I feel bad in the opposite way. I should be MORE insistent that he goes to bed at certain times! ha
ReplyDeleteLabor and Delivery?!?! Dream job!