Labor Day

I love long weekends with our little family.

I wrote a comment on this lady's post that said she felt like there were about two days of summer left and I said, "Summer is hot here and at times it felt like it was droning on and on and I’d sweat for the rest of my life but then it’s always RIGHT NOW that I realize summer is sighing its last and I’m like whoah, wait! I meant to swim more! Sweating isn’t so bad! I meant to work outside and sweat more! And then suddenly it’s fall which means winter is breathing down our necks. Fall never, ever seems to drone on and on."

My mom spent the night with us Saturday night. Yesterday when we woke up we poured our coffee and took it outside because the weather was like hey you, remember fall? I was like oh man, DO I! Beebs helped us gather little sticks and before long we had a fire going in our fire pit. We drank coffee in the sun with a cool breeze and a fire and I felt so surprised all day. This weather! Wow. Summer went so fast. Ahh. This weather. There was lots of sighing and sitting and running around the backyard. I kept looking around at the mess that is our backyard and being so annoyed with myself for not making something fabulous of it (yet!).

We ate toast with pear butter I made (pears and lemon and ginger, oh my!). I had cooked that slow slow, for hours in the oven and it reduced down to something lovely. I started re-reading a book. Beebs dug around in the yard and found a caterpillar. She put him in an old glasses case lined with red velvety stuff and added a torn leaf. In the end she wondered what the green squish coming from his butt was. His guts, dear. His guts. The caterpillar had joined us inside for a break from the fire when we had popcorn and watched "The Great Pumpkin." Campfire pies and hide and seek drew our evening to a close. After a warm bath and 3 books, Beebs turned over and closed her eyes, pressing my hand into her belly. We started watching The Illusionist (which I was thoroughly enjoying!) but I just couldn't stay awake. I read the last 3 pages of Babycatcher and went to bed.

This morning it's 55 degrees and I'm having coffee alone. I opened the front door for light and breeze but actually felt chilly. Looking forward to this last day of our long weekend together.

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I cannot believe it has been nearly 5 years since my dad died. I still have those moment where it really feels like wait, that didn't really happen..if I think hard enough he'll be right here and I can introduce him to Beebs and they'll be great friends. I wish he could know her. I wish he could know me as a mom. While I am not confident in a whole lot about myself, I am confident that my daughter is absolutely wonderful and exudes so much joy.

It seems like September is often an important month.

Sept 2004 - I'm in disbelief that it's September. I talk about music and coffee and long weekends. (also, sore throat, hot hot tea)

Sept 2005 - I'm into surrealist images, married and in school, taking chemistry to get ready for nursing school. (also, sore throat, hot hot tea) This is the month I find out my dad is dying of cancer. I quote Bob Dylan "Lay down your weary tune, lay down. Rest yourself 'neath the strength of spring. No voice can hope to hum."

Sept 2006 - I write about hospice and last days, I post when my dad dies and write about his funeral. I visit his grave.

Sept 2007 - I get my first nursing job a week after finding out I am (surprise!) pregnant with a hybrid.

Sept 2008 - This and music and this.

Sept 2009 - I write about my dad, my kid, a trip.

Sept 2010 - I am relishing in cooler air, coffee, music, my kid. I'm a nurse in labor & delivery now.

Sept 2011- The air is much cooler, so suddenly. I'm in love with coffee and music. I plan a trip to my dad's grave with my husband and daughter.