When for a moment I am tempted I surround myself with things I love or am interested in and remind myself that those are the things that make me up. I feel like my identity has been as the token fat girl and that it's not my intended role here in the universe. It makes me feel comforted to look at hippie blogs, holistic goodness, good music and I've been planning rewards for myself like a new outfit from here, those prayer flags I was looking at a few days ago, a splurge on nice tea, a haircut, etc. I'm learning how to enjoy indulgences that are not food related.
Did I say it here or when chatting with a friend - I visualized myself in a bathing suit on a beach with my family and that has always felt like such a pipe dream that I didn't dare dwell on it but to think of really doing it made me feel absolutely stoned. It's not about looking hot in a bathing suit for me but about what it might feel like to be COMFORTABLE in a bathing suit hanging in the sun, playing in the sand with my fam. I mean, I just..I have NO idea what that feels like and..I'd like to.
It's cold this morning. The winter has been eerily mild and I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. It snowed just a wee bit last night and I've been frozen this morning. I CRANKED the heat up to 68 degrees, chugged a whole buncha water then I was absolutely giddy with pouring a hot cup of coffee. I also made a hot bowl of oatmeal. Before cooking I stirred in what looked like exactly too much cinnamon and it turned out to be exactly the perfect amount. I drizzled on just a little maple syrup (grade b!) and tossed on a few walnuts. I'm feeling warmer, guys. Feeling warmer.
Cinnamon is so good for you! Sometimes I put it i my coffee! It helps to regulate insulin.
ReplyDeleteHooray for new coping strategies! I think the goal of being comfortable on the beach is a beautiful one. I'll support that. :) You totally made me want oatmeal. Too bad I didn't read this until almost lunch. I'm geared up for a veggie wrap and fruit for that meal. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know i don't reall "know" you, but all those things (hippie blogs, good music & holistic goodness) are exactly how i think of you & why i probably started reading your blog in the first place!! I think the visialization of the beach is the BEST way to get you & your family there to enjoy it!!
ReplyDeleteMaking a bowl of oatmeal tomorrow. Yummmm.