A real update

 I like dropping off some words here whenever I can because as the years have passed it is nice to return here and read them. 

The overall vibe of my life feels brighter and more active to me. My partner and I like doin' shit and it makes me happy. We go on walks and go camping and see live music and daydream about our future and have some goals and he helps me do things and get shit done. It's been just over 2 years and I'd really like to live together but it has been a journey and my kids just aren't ready for that. To them it still feels pretty new. There is so much to navigate - trying to thoughtfully determine whether your kids are ready for a partner to sleep over, etc. x 1 million. We've taken our time and not pushed and that feels right. I'm learning to explore where the sweet spot is in respecting their wishes but also pursuing mine and I see the times they will adjust with me and do something because they know it is just kind of the nice thing to do. 

Pursuing a routine that will make more space from screen time and keep my people doing other stuff. Always and forever the goal, roads of good intentions, etc. YOU KNOW HOW WE DO. The collective. We're trying. You're trying. 

I started a new job about 9 months ago and it has caused me some grief. I have grieved not doing nurse stuff all the time and instead having to do more paperwork/professional email communications/be at a desk at a computer. I'm also in the community in schools a ton working in public health and THAT is something I love. The job does not feel like it's one for me long term but I've tried to do my best and rise to the occasion in coordinating shit and typing emails. My job previous to this one was a pediatric clinic for 11 years and that's what I enjoy. I truly enjoy patient care and interacting one on one like that. We'll see where I go next. It is a goal/dream of mine to go somewhere to work for the summer in a kids' camp. When I was in college I spent a summer working at a kids' camp in Alaska and it was just un-fucking-believable. It was lovely to spend the time there for a summer instead of just a short vacation or something. It gave us a chance to hang out with locals and get to know the community more. My partner works from home and I've asked my kids what they think about being away for the summer. I'm going to explore this more. I also have a home and 6 pets to consider soooo.... maybe a local summer camp? 

Stepping away to do my adult homework/taxes - since they're due today. 

:)